Coaching practices for How to Resolve Workplace Conflict Between Two Employees

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For How to Resolve Workplace Conflict Between Two Employees, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • We both keep digging into our positions and neither of us is really hearing why the other one cares
  • Every time we get into this it turns into my side versus theirs, two solutions dug in, and it never occurs to either of us that we might actually want the same thing underneath the fight.
  • Somewhere in this I stopped seeing a problem we both have and started seeing the other person AS the problem
  • We solve the immediate thing but the same ugly dynamic underneath stays exactly the same, so the next disagreement plays out identically
  • We’re both dug into opposing positions and treating it like one of us has to lose, but this is someone I’ll keep working with and the outcome genuinely matters to both of us

Practices that may help

  1. Collaborating (assertive and cooperative)
    Work the underlying interests until you find a solution that genuinely meets both sides’ needs.
    The Five Conflict-Resolution Styles
  2. Find mutual purpose
    Establish a shared goal both people care about so the conversation is "us vs the problem".
    Crucial Conversations, Made Practical
  3. Separate the person from the problem
    Treat the conflict as a problem you face together, not a contest you fight each other.
    The Third Alternative, Made Practical
  4. Transform the relationship, not just the issue
    Use each conflict as an opportunity to raise the quality of the relationship itself.
    The Third Alternative, Made Practical
  5. Use Collaborating when the relationship and the solution both matter
    Collaborating — high assertive, high cooperative — finds a solution that genuinely works for both parties, but it takes time.
    The Thomas–Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI)
  6. Engage in productive ideological conflict
    Teams that avoid conflict don’t avoid disagreement — they bury it, where it grows into resentment and bad decisions.
    The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, Made Practical
  7. Adapt your conflict approach to the other person’s DISC style
    Conflict lands differently for each style — match your approach to reduce defensiveness.
    DISC Behavioral Styles
  8. Disagree with your manager constructively
    State your disagreement clearly, give your reasoning, and then commit to the decision — without sacrificing either honesty or loyalty.
    Managing Up: Practical Skills for Working with Your Boss
  9. Fight the problem, not each other
    Reorient conflict so both partners face the problem together rather than facing each other.
    Secure-Functioning Relationships
  10. Storming: name the conflict without taking sides
    Surface the tension that’s already there rather than managing it away.
    Tuckman’s Stages of Team Development

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