Coaching practices for Marsha Linehan Interpersonal Skills

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Marsha Linehan Interpersonal Skills, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • I can be fine one-on-one but the second a conversation gets tense it slides into a fight before I know it
  • Going into this hard talk I’m trying to win the point AND not hurt the relationship AND not feel like a doormat all at once, and the conversation just goes in circles
  • There’s a conversation coming up where the whole relationship feels like it’s on the line, and I tend to fall apart exactly when it matters most
  • I walk away from conflicts having caved again

Practices that may help

  1. DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness: Getting What You Need Without Destroying the Relationship
    Dialectical Behavior Therapy’s interpersonal effectiveness module gives concrete skills for asking for what you need, saying no, and managing conflict — without sacrificing either your objectives or the relationship. The DEAR MAN, GIVE, and FAST acronyms operationalize three distinct goals (getting results, keeping the relationship, keeping self-respect) that often pull in different directions. DBT as a whole has strong RCT evidence; the interpersonal module is integral to that evidence base.
  2. DEAR MAN: DBT’s Skill for Asking for What You Want Effectively
    DEAR MAN — Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, Mindful, Appear confident, Negotiate — is a DBT interpersonal effectiveness skill developed by Marsha Linehan. It structures requests and refusals so they are clear, non-aggressive, and effective, balancing getting what you need with preserving the relationship. The evidence base is embedded in the broader DBT clinical literature.
  3. Social skill
    Manage relationships, navigate conflict, and influence well by applying the other four skills in interaction.
    Emotional Intelligence, Made Practical
  4. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Skills, Made Practical
    DBT is a skills-based approach built around a balance — accepting yourself as you are while working to change — taught through four skill sets: mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. It has strong randomized-trial support, particularly for chronic emotion dysregulation and self-harm.
  5. GIVE: DBT’s Skill for Preserving Relationships During Difficult Conversations
    GIVE — Gentle, Interested, Validate, Easy manner — is a DBT interpersonal effectiveness skill developed by Marsha Linehan for keeping relationships intact during difficult exchanges. While DEAR MAN focuses on getting what you need, GIVE focuses on how you show up so the other person remains willing to engage with you over time.
  6. Three-goals prioritization: objective, relationship, or self-respect?
    Before entering a difficult conversation, decide which of the three goals matters most right now.
    DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness: Getting What You Need Without Destroying the Relationship
  7. Use GIVE as a full sequence in high-stakes conversations
    Run all four GIVE components together — gentleness, interest, validation, and ease — for conversations where the relationship is on the line.
    GIVE: DBT’s Skill for Preserving Relationships During Difficult Conversations
  8. FAST: DBT’s Skill for Maintaining Self-Respect in Relationships
    FAST — Fair, Apologies (no unnecessary ones), Stick to values, Truthful — is a DBT interpersonal effectiveness skill developed by Marsha Linehan for maintaining self-respect in relationships. While DEAR MAN aims for getting what you need and GIVE aims for relationship health, FAST targets the internal cost: whether you feel like yourself and respect yourself after the interaction.
  9. DBT Emotion Regulation Skills, Made Practical
    DBT’s emotion regulation module teaches you to understand what emotions are and why they fire, reduce vulnerability to emotional overwhelm, and change unwanted emotional states through specific skills. DBT as a whole has strong randomized-trial support; the individual skills are established clinical practice rather than separately trialed units.
  10. FAST: maintaining self-respect in difficult interactions
    Fair, no Apologies, Stick to values, Truthful — the self-respect compass for high-pressure conversations.
    DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness: Getting What You Need Without Destroying the Relationship

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