Coaching practices for Motivational Interviewing with Friends

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Motivational Interviewing with Friends, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• Every time I lay out for someone all the reasons they should change, they just argue back for staying exactly as they are
• They tell me what kind of parent or partner they want to be, and it’s miles from how they’re actually living
• I actually have useful information that could help them, but the moment I offer unsolicited advice they tune me out or bristle
• I have to rally people to pitch in time or money for a cause we all care about, and I’m torn between asking for too little and getting a shrug, or asking for so much it guilts them
• I’m facing a real decision and some part of me already knows what the honest answer is

Practices that may help

1. Motivational Interviewing, Made Practical
   Motivational interviewing (MI) is a collaborative conversation style that strengthens a person’s own motivation for change by drawing out their reasons rather than supplying them. Meta-analyses find small-to-moderate effects across health behaviors — modest on average, but reliably better than confrontational or advice-giving styles, which can backfire.
2. Evoke change talk instead of supplying it
   Ask questions that lead the person to voice their own reasons for changing.
   Motivational Interviewing, Made Practical
3. Develop discrepancy between values and behavior
   Gently hold up the gap between what the person wants and what they’re doing.
   Motivational Interviewing, Made Practical
4. Share advice with permission (ask–offer–ask)
   Ask what they know, offer information with consent, then ask what they make of it.
   Motivational Interviewing, Made Practical
5. Apply door-in-the-face for prosocial or charitable asks
   The technique was originally tested in a prosocial context and works especially well when both parties share values.
   The Door-in-the-Face Technique, Made Practical
6. Advise yourself as you would a friend
   Ask what you would tell a friend in exactly your situation — then take your own advice.
   Self-Distancing: Thinking Clearly About Your Own Problems
7. Give yourself advice as if advising a close friend
   Describe your problem as if a close friend brought it to you — then write the advice you would give them.
   Self-Distancing Journaling
8. Meet the relatedness need
   Connect the work to people — support, shared purpose, or being seen.
   Self-Determination Theory, Made Usable
9. Replace critic monologue with compassionate self-talk
   Speak to yourself the way you would speak to a close friend in the same situation.
   Working With Your Inner Critic
10. Scale importance and confidence with the readiness ruler
    Ask “On a 0–10 scale, how ready are you?” — then ask why not lower.
    Motivational Interviewing, Made Practical

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