Coaching practices for Oars Motivational Interviewing

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Oars Motivational Interviewing, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• They tell me what kind of parent or partner they want to be, and it’s miles from how they’re actually living
• In these conversations I fire off question after question like an interrogation, and the other person closes up rather than opening
• Every time I lay out for someone all the reasons they should change, they just argue back for staying exactly as they are
• They say they want to change but they’re clearly half-in, half-out, and I can’t tell whether it’s that the change doesn’t matter enough to them or that they just don’t believe they could actually pull it off.
• I actually have useful information that could help them, but the moment I offer unsolicited advice they tune me out or bristle

Practices that may help

1. Motivational Interviewing, Made Practical
   Motivational interviewing (MI) is a collaborative conversation style that strengthens a person’s own motivation for change by drawing out their reasons rather than supplying them. Meta-analyses find small-to-moderate effects across health behaviors — modest on average, but reliably better than confrontational or advice-giving styles, which can backfire.
2. Develop discrepancy between values and behavior
   Gently hold up the gap between what the person wants and what they’re doing.
   Motivational Interviewing, Made Practical
3. Use OARS to make the person feel understood
   Open questions, Affirmations, Reflections, Summaries — the four core micro-skills.
   Motivational Interviewing, Made Practical
4. Evoke change talk instead of supplying it
   Ask questions that lead the person to voice their own reasons for changing.
   Motivational Interviewing, Made Practical
5. Scale importance and confidence with the readiness ruler
   Ask “On a 0–10 scale, how ready are you?” — then ask why not lower.
   Motivational Interviewing, Made Practical
6. Share advice with permission (ask–offer–ask)
   Ask what they know, offer information with consent, then ask what they make of it.
   Motivational Interviewing, Made Practical
7. Apply door-in-the-face for prosocial or charitable asks
   The technique was originally tested in a prosocial context and works especially well when both parties share values.
   The Door-in-the-Face Technique, Made Practical
8. Use autonomy-supportive self-talk
   Coach yourself with choice and rationale, not "shoulds" and self-pressure.
   Self-Determination Theory, Made Usable
9. Roll with resistance instead of fighting it
   When you meet a push-back, soften and reflect rather than argue.
   Motivational Interviewing, Made Practical
10. Prime identity before the ask — "what kind of person are you?"
    Invite the person to describe who they are in terms that align with the behavior you’re requesting.
    Pre-Suasion, Made Practical

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