Coaching practices for Naming Trust Breakdown
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Naming Trust Breakdown, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- Something’s damaged my trust in them but I can’t bring myself to just say so, so instead I quietly pull back, vent to other people, and let it fester
- Trust with this person has cracked and I just keep apologizing for "not being trustworthy" in this big vague way
- We’re both waiting for the other to admit their part first, so nothing moves
- When I’m handed something past what I actually know, I nod and act like I’ve got it rather than admit the gap, then scramble in secret to cover
- I handed this to "the team" without naming one clear owner, and now everyone assumes someone else has it
Practices that may help
- Have explicit trust conversations when trust is at stake
Name the trust issue directly rather than managing it indirectly.
The Trust Triangle - Diagnose which trust dimension is broken before trying to repair
Name the specific trust assessment that failed — then address that one, not trust in general.
The Trust Triangle - Own your share of the rupture
Name your specific contribution to the break — without making it a competition over who was worse.
Rupture and Repair - Be transparent about your competence limits
Name what you can do, what you can’t, and what you’ll need to learn — before you are found out.
The Trust Triangle - The Trust Triangle
Charles Feltman’s Trust Triangle (from The Thin Book of Trust) identifies four distinct assessments that together constitute trust: sincerity (I mean what I say), reliability (I do what I say), competence (I have the ability to do what I say), and care (I have your interests at heart). Trust breaks down when any one of these assessments fails — and repairing trust requires identifying which assessment was damaged. - Set clear, single-point accountability
One named owner, an agreed standard, and a check-in cadence set up front — not nagging.
Effective Delegation, Made Practical - Extend trust deliberately to invite it
Trust others first, in bounded ways, before they have earned every dimension — it is how trust is built.
The Trust Triangle - Repair a damaged leader-follower relationship deliberately
Take active steps to reset a deteriorated relationship, rather than allowing avoidance to compound the damage.
Leader-Member Exchange (LMX), Made Practical - Build reliability by making smaller, keepable promises
Under-promise consistently, then exceed rather than over-promise and fall short.
The Trust Triangle - Build shame resilience by naming and sharing it
Shame loses power when it is named, then shared with at least one trusted person.
Shame vs. Guilt: Why the Distinction Changes Everything
Related concerns
- Thin Book Of Trust
Charles Feltman’s Trust Triangle (from The Thin Book of Trust) identifies four distinct assessments that together constitute trust: sincerity (I mean what I say), reliability (I do what I say), competence (I have the ability to do what I say), and care (I have your interests at heart). Trust breaks down when any one of these assessments fails — and repairing trust requires identifying which assessment was damaged.
- Extend Trust First
Trust others first, in bounded ways, before they have earned every dimension — it is how trust is built.
Extend trust deliberately to invite it
- How To Get Past The Lack Of Trust
Name the trust issue directly rather than managing it indirectly.
Have explicit trust conversations when trust is at stake
- How To Talk About Trust Issues
Name the trust issue directly rather than managing it indirectly.
- The Trust Triangle During A Big Change
Charles Feltman’s Trust Triangle (from The Thin Book of Trust) identifies four distinct assessments that together constitute trust: sincerity (I mean what I say), reliability (I do what I say), competence (I have the ability to do what I say), and care (I have your interests at heart). Trust breaks down when any one of these assessments fails — and repairing trust requires identifying which assessment was damaged.
- The Trust Triangle When Overwhelmed
Charles Feltman’s Trust Triangle (from The Thin Book of Trust) identifies four distinct assessments that together constitute trust: sincerity (I mean what I say), reliability (I do what I say), competence (I have the ability to do what I say), and care (I have your interests at heart). Trust breaks down when any one of these assessments fails — and repairing trust requires identifying which assessment was damaged.
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