Coaching practices for Play in Relationships
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Play in Relationships, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- My partner and I have become roommates who just handle logistics
- We’ve drifted into roommates running on autopilot
- After a blow-up with my kid we both stay frozen and far apart, and I keep trying to talk it through, to get an apology, while the distance just drags on
- My partner makes these little comments through the day
- In the heat of a fight we cross lines we’d never cross when calm
Practices that may help
- Make bids for shared enjoyment, not just support
Invite your partner to enjoy something together — playfulness and delight are also bids.
Turning Toward: The Daily Practice That Builds Relationship Resilience - Pro-relationship maintenance behaviors
Actively do things that maintain and strengthen the relationship, rather than expecting it to run itself.
The Investment Model of Commitment: Why People Stay (and Why They Leave) - Use play to re-establish connection after conflict or separation
Playful physical contact after a difficult moment re-welds the relationship faster than discussion.
Special Time (Lawrence Cohen — Playful Parenting) - Turn toward bids for connection
Respond to small, everyday bids for attention as if they matter — because they do.
The 5-to-1 Positivity Ratio in Relationships - Agree on relationship principles before you need them
Set explicit rules for how you will treat each other, especially under pressure.
Secure-Functioning Relationships - Create and protect the couple bubble
Agree that you each put the relationship above any third party, including family of origin.
Secure-Functioning Relationships - Willingness to sacrifice: building relationship-oriented decision-making
Practice making at least one weekly decision that prioritizes the relationship over personal short-term convenience.
The Investment Model of Commitment: Why People Stay (and Why They Leave) - Use GIVE as a full sequence in high-stakes conversations
Run all four GIVE components together — gentleness, interest, validation, and ease — for conversations where the relationship is on the line.
GIVE: DBT’s Skill for Preserving Relationships During Difficult Conversations - Apply strengths consciously in your most important relationships
Identify how your signature strengths are showing up — or failing to show up — in the relationships that matter most.
VIA Character Strengths, Made Practical - Expanding eroticism beyond sex
Recognize and cultivate the erotic in non-sexual moments: risk, play, creativity, surprise.
Mating in Captivity: Sustaining Desire in Long-Term Relationships
Related concerns
- Gridlock In Relationships
Agree that you each put the relationship above any third party, including family of origin.
Create and protect the couple bubble
- How To Do Better In A Relationship
Actively do things that maintain and strengthen the relationship, rather than expecting it to run itself.
Pro-relationship maintenance behaviors
- Complicity In Relationships
Build a private world of in-jokes, gestures, and references that only you two share.
Cultivating complicity: shared secret aliveness
- How To Be More Considerate In A Relationship
Name what you genuinely respect and appreciate about your partner — out loud and specifically.
Express fondness and admiration specifically
- How To Be More Feminine In A Relationship With A Man
Use DEAR MAN for what you want, GIVE for the relationship, and FAST for yourself — and know which to weight when they conflict.
Balance FAST with DEAR MAN when the relationship and the goal are both at stake
- How To Be More Grown Up In A Relationship
Actively do things that maintain and strengthen the relationship, rather than expecting it to run itself.
Describe your situation in your own words to search the complete practice library.