Coaching practices for Solution Focused Parenting
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Solution Focused Parenting, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- Every conversation with my kid about their behavior turns into me laying down the law and them digging in, and I want a way to actually talk it through together
- I lay down a rule and my kids ignore it because it’s "my" rule they had no say in
- There are certain moments
- My kid and I agree on a fix and it sounds great in the moment, but a few days later it’s fallen apart again
- My kid only seems to come at me when they want something or when they’re acting out, and I realize the only time I really pay full attention is when I’m correcting them
Practices that may help
- Solution-Focused Brief Therapy: Building On What Works
Solution-focused brief therapy (SFBT), developed by Steve de Shazer and Insoo Kim Berg, directs attention to what already works — client strengths, past successes, and desired futures — rather than to analyzing problems. Meta-analyses report small-to-moderate positive effects across a range of presenting issues, with particular strength in behavioral problems and depression in adult populations. - Use Plan B: the three-step collaborative conversation
Empathize with the child’s concern, share yours, and invite them to solve it together.
Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene) - Use family meetings to solve problems together
When children help solve the problem, they own the solution — and solutions they own, they actually follow.
Positive Discipline (Jane Nelsen) - Recognize what is not happening with proactive recognition
Catch the child not misbehaving and name the success explicitly.
The Nurtured Heart Approach (Howard Glasser) - Evaluate solutions for durability: realistic, mutually satisfying, safe
A collaborative solution that fails one of three tests — realistic, mutually satisfying, safe — will not hold.
Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene) - Spend quality one-on-one time with your child
Fifteen minutes of child-led, uninterrupted attention per day builds the relationship that discipline depends on.
Triple P Parenting (Matthew Sanders) - Focus on solutions, not blame
Ask "What can we do to fix this?" rather than "Why did you do that?" — one opens, the other closes.
Positive Discipline (Jane Nelsen) - Plan behavior management strategies in advance
Decide how you will respond to predictable problems before they happen.
Triple P Parenting (Matthew Sanders) - Hold Plan B conversations proactively, not reactively
Solve the problem before the next explosion, when everyone is calm.
Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene) - Problem-solve together once the child is calm
After the emotional storm passes, invite the child to find a solution with you.
Emotion Coaching (John Gottman)
Related concerns
- How To Solve Problems With Children
Empathize with the child’s concern, share yours, and invite them to solve it together.
Use Plan B: the three-step collaborative conversation
- Problem Solving Therapy As A Parent
After the emotional storm passes, invite the child to find a solution with you.
Problem-solve together once the child is calm
- Why Kids Are Unbothered By One Parent Decision And Not With Upset With Other
When children help solve the problem, they own the solution — and solutions they own, they actually follow.
Use family meetings to solve problems together
- Child Problem Solving Together
A collaborative solution that fails one of three tests — realistic, mutually satisfying, safe — will not hold.
Evaluate solutions for durability: realistic, mutually satisfying, safe
- Collaborative Parenting Solution
A collaborative solution that fails one of three tests — realistic, mutually satisfying, safe — will not hold.
- Collaborative Problem Solving Ross Greene As A Parent
Ross Greene’s Collaborative Problem Solving model holds that kids with explosive behavior lack the cognitive skills to handle frustration and inflexibility — not the motivation. The approach replaces punitive consequences with structured adult–child conversations that build lagging skills over time. Randomized trials in clinical settings show significant reductions in explosive behavior, though most real-world evidence is clinical and observational.
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