Coaching practices for How to Solve Problems with Children
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For How to Solve Problems with Children, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- Every conversation with my kid about their behavior turns into me laying down the law and them digging in, and I want a way to actually talk it through together
- My kid and I agree on a fix and it sounds great in the moment, but a few days later it’s fallen apart again
- I keep trying to reason with my kid right in the middle of the meltdown
- The storm has finally passed and my kid is calm again, and I keep wanting to either just move on or fix the situation for them
- I lay down a rule and my kids ignore it because it’s "my" rule they had no say in
Practices that may help
- Use Plan B: the three-step collaborative conversation
Empathize with the child’s concern, share yours, and invite them to solve it together.
Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene) - Evaluate solutions for durability: realistic, mutually satisfying, safe
A collaborative solution that fails one of three tests — realistic, mutually satisfying, safe — will not hold.
Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene) - Hold Plan B conversations proactively, not reactively
Solve the problem before the next explosion, when everyone is calm.
Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene) - Problem-solve together once the child is calm
After the emotional storm passes, invite the child to find a solution with you.
Emotion Coaching (John Gottman) - Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)
Ross Greene’s Collaborative Problem Solving model holds that kids with explosive behavior lack the cognitive skills to handle frustration and inflexibility — not the motivation. The approach replaces punitive consequences with structured adult–child conversations that build lagging skills over time. Randomized trials in clinical settings show significant reductions in explosive behavior, though most real-world evidence is clinical and observational. - Use family meetings to solve problems together
When children help solve the problem, they own the solution — and solutions they own, they actually follow.
Positive Discipline (Jane Nelsen) - Recognize when Plan A (unilateral imposition) makes things worse
Adult-imposed solutions can win the battle and lose the war — notice when enforcement is escalating rather than solving.
Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene) - Maintain an unsolved problems list
Write down recurring triggers so they become solvable problems rather than repeated emergencies.
Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene) - Take time for training — teach the skill, not just the rule
Children misbehave partly because they don’t know how to do the right thing — teach the skill when everyone is calm.
Positive Discipline (Jane Nelsen) - Focus on solutions, not blame
Ask "What can we do to fix this?" rather than "Why did you do that?" — one opens, the other closes.
Positive Discipline (Jane Nelsen)
Related concerns
- Child Problem Solving Together
A collaborative solution that fails one of three tests — realistic, mutually satisfying, safe — will not hold.
Evaluate solutions for durability: realistic, mutually satisfying, safe
- Collaborative Problem Solving Ross Greene As A Parent
Ross Greene’s Collaborative Problem Solving model holds that kids with explosive behavior lack the cognitive skills to handle frustration and inflexibility — not the motivation. The approach replaces punitive consequences with structured adult–child conversations that build lagging skills over time. Randomized trials in clinical settings show significant reductions in explosive behavior, though most real-world evidence is clinical and observational.
- Realistic Kids Problem Solving
A collaborative solution that fails one of three tests — realistic, mutually satisfying, safe — will not hold.
- Collaborative Parenting Solution
A collaborative solution that fails one of three tests — realistic, mutually satisfying, safe — will not hold.
- Found Loaded Gun After Son Threatened To Kill The Family
Adult-imposed solutions can win the battle and lose the war — notice when enforcement is escalating rather than solving.
Recognize when Plan A (unilateral imposition) makes things worse
- How To Calm Explosive Child
Solve the problem before the next explosion, when everyone is calm.
Hold Plan B conversations proactively, not reactively
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