Coaching practices for Collaborative Problem Solving Ross Greene During Conflict

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Collaborative Problem Solving Ross Greene During Conflict, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • Somewhere in this I stopped seeing a problem we both have and started seeing the other person AS the problem
  • We both keep digging into our positions and neither of us is really hearing why the other one cares
  • We’re both dug into opposing positions and treating it like one of us has to lose, but this is someone I’ll keep working with and the outcome genuinely matters to both of us
  • Every conversation with my kid about their behavior turns into me laying down the law and them digging in, and I want a way to actually talk it through together
  • My kid and I agree on a fix and it sounds great in the moment, but a few days later it’s fallen apart again

Practices that may help

  1. Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)
    Ross Greene’s Collaborative Problem Solving model holds that kids with explosive behavior lack the cognitive skills to handle frustration and inflexibility — not the motivation. The approach replaces punitive consequences with structured adult–child conversations that build lagging skills over time. Randomized trials in clinical settings show significant reductions in explosive behavior, though most real-world evidence is clinical and observational.
  2. Separate the person from the problem
    Treat the conflict as a problem you face together, not a contest you fight each other.
    The Third Alternative, Made Practical
  3. Collaborating (assertive and cooperative)
    Work the underlying interests until you find a solution that genuinely meets both sides’ needs.
    The Five Conflict-Resolution Styles
  4. Use Collaborating when the relationship and the solution both matter
    Collaborating — high assertive, high cooperative — finds a solution that genuinely works for both parties, but it takes time.
    The Thomas–Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI)
  5. Use Plan B: the three-step collaborative conversation
    Empathize with the child’s concern, share yours, and invite them to solve it together.
    Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)
  6. Evaluate solutions for durability: realistic, mutually satisfying, safe
    A collaborative solution that fails one of three tests — realistic, mutually satisfying, safe — will not hold.
    Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)
  7. Transform the relationship, not just the issue
    Use each conflict as an opportunity to raise the quality of the relationship itself.
    The Third Alternative, Made Practical
  8. Find mutual purpose
    Establish a shared goal both people care about so the conversation is "us vs the problem".
    Crucial Conversations, Made Practical
  9. Ask "Are you willing to find a solution better than either of us has thought of?"
    Open the conversation with a single question that resets both parties from adversaries to co-creators.
    The Third Alternative, Made Practical
  10. Fight the problem, not each other
    Reorient conflict so both partners face the problem together rather than facing each other.
    Secure-Functioning Relationships

Related concerns

Describe your situation in your own words to search the complete practice library.

Practice this with IX Coach

Try this practice