Coaching practices for Collaborative Conflict Resolution
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Collaborative Conflict Resolution, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- We’re both dug into opposing positions and treating it like one of us has to lose, but this is someone I’ll keep working with and the outcome genuinely matters to both of us
- We both keep digging into our positions and neither of us is really hearing why the other one cares
- We solve the immediate thing but the same ugly dynamic underneath stays exactly the same, so the next disagreement plays out identically
- Somewhere in this I stopped seeing a problem we both have and started seeing the other person AS the problem
- We’re deadlocked and the clock’s running, so I just want a fair middle we can both live with and move on
Practices that may help
- Use Collaborating when the relationship and the solution both matter
Collaborating — high assertive, high cooperative — finds a solution that genuinely works for both parties, but it takes time.
The Thomas–Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) - Collaborating (assertive and cooperative)
Work the underlying interests until you find a solution that genuinely meets both sides’ needs.
The Five Conflict-Resolution Styles - Transform the relationship, not just the issue
Use each conflict as an opportunity to raise the quality of the relationship itself.
The Third Alternative, Made Practical - Separate the person from the problem
Treat the conflict as a problem you face together, not a contest you fight each other.
The Third Alternative, Made Practical - Compromising (moderate on both)
Split the difference when a fast, fair, good-enough solution beats holding out for the perfect one.
The Five Conflict-Resolution Styles - Use a storytelling round to build mutual understanding before solving
Before moving to resolution, give each person a round to tell their experience of what happened.
The Circle Process (Kay Pranis) - Use Competing when speed or safety matters more than buy-in
Competing — high assertive, low cooperative — is appropriate when the decision is urgent, high-stakes, and not open for debate.
The Thomas–Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) - Engage in productive ideological conflict
Teams that avoid conflict don’t avoid disagreement — they bury it, where it grows into resentment and bad decisions.
The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, Made Practical - Find mutual purpose
Establish a shared goal both people care about so the conversation is "us vs the problem".
Crucial Conversations, Made Practical - Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)
Ross Greene’s Collaborative Problem Solving model holds that kids with explosive behavior lack the cognitive skills to handle frustration and inflexibility — not the motivation. The approach replaces punitive consequences with structured adult–child conversations that build lagging skills over time. Randomized trials in clinical settings show significant reductions in explosive behavior, though most real-world evidence is clinical and observational.
Related concerns
- Collaborative Conflict Culture
Collaborating — high assertive, high cooperative — finds a solution that genuinely works for both parties, but it takes time.
Use Collaborating when the relationship and the solution both matter
- Cofounder Conflict
Work the underlying interests until you find a solution that genuinely meets both sides’ needs.
Collaborating (assertive and cooperative)
- Collaborative Problem Solving Ross Greene During Conflict
Ross Greene’s Collaborative Problem Solving model holds that kids with explosive behavior lack the cognitive skills to handle frustration and inflexibility — not the motivation. The approach replaces punitive consequences with structured adult–child conversations that build lagging skills over time. Randomized trials in clinical settings show significant reductions in explosive behavior, though most real-world evidence is clinical and observational.
- How To Resolve Workplace Conflict Between Two Employees
Work the underlying interests until you find a solution that genuinely meets both sides’ needs.
- Solution Focused Brief Therapy Building On What Works During Conflict
Solution-focused brief therapy (SFBT), developed by Steve de Shazer and Insoo Kim Berg, directs attention to what already works — client strengths, past successes, and desired futures — rather than to analyzing problems. Meta-analyses report small-to-moderate positive effects across a range of presenting issues, with particular strength in behavioral problems and depression in adult populations.
- Synergy In Conflict
Collaborating — high assertive, high cooperative — finds a solution that genuinely works for both parties, but it takes time.
Describe your situation in your own words to search the complete practice library.