Coaching practices for Unsolved Problems List Children
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Unsolved Problems List Children, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- My kid and I agree on a fix and it sounds great in the moment, but a few days later it’s fallen apart again
- Every blow-up hits me like a brand-new emergency and I’m just putting out fires all day
- The storm has finally passed and my kid is calm again, and I keep wanting to either just move on or fix the situation for them
- This problem is so knotty and interdependent that every time we brainstorm it, the room just locks onto whoever framed it first, and half the disagreement is really people picturing entirely different versions of the same mess.
- Every conversation with my kid about their behavior turns into me laying down the law and them digging in, and I want a way to actually talk it through together
Practices that may help
- Evaluate solutions for durability: realistic, mutually satisfying, safe
A collaborative solution that fails one of three tests — realistic, mutually satisfying, safe — will not hold.
Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene) - Maintain an unsolved problems list
Write down recurring triggers so they become solvable problems rather than repeated emergencies.
Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene) - Problem-solve together once the child is calm
After the emotional storm passes, invite the child to find a solution with you.
Emotion Coaching (John Gottman) - Use morphological analysis for wicked problems with many interdependencies
The method shines on problems too complex for brainstorming to cover adequately.
Morphological Analysis, Made Practical - Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)
Ross Greene’s Collaborative Problem Solving model holds that kids with explosive behavior lack the cognitive skills to handle frustration and inflexibility — not the motivation. The approach replaces punitive consequences with structured adult–child conversations that build lagging skills over time. Randomized trials in clinical settings show significant reductions in explosive behavior, though most real-world evidence is clinical and observational. - Use Plan B: the three-step collaborative conversation
Empathize with the child’s concern, share yours, and invite them to solve it together.
Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene) - Climb the why–why ladder
Ask "why is this a problem?" repeatedly to reveal the higher-level goal your current framing may be missing.
Problem Reframing: Solving the Right Problem First - Systematically process the backlog
Work through old, unfinished tasks in order rather than perpetually re-triaging them.
Do It Tomorrow, Made Practical - Hold Plan B conversations proactively, not reactively
Solve the problem before the next explosion, when everyone is calm.
Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene) - Use family meetings to solve problems together
When children help solve the problem, they own the solution — and solutions they own, they actually follow.
Positive Discipline (Jane Nelsen)
Related concerns
- Child Problem Solving Together
A collaborative solution that fails one of three tests — realistic, mutually satisfying, safe — will not hold.
Evaluate solutions for durability: realistic, mutually satisfying, safe
- Collaborative Problem Solving Ross Greene As A Parent
Ross Greene’s Collaborative Problem Solving model holds that kids with explosive behavior lack the cognitive skills to handle frustration and inflexibility — not the motivation. The approach replaces punitive consequences with structured adult–child conversations that build lagging skills over time. Randomized trials in clinical settings show significant reductions in explosive behavior, though most real-world evidence is clinical and observational.
- How To Solve Problems With Children
Empathize with the child’s concern, share yours, and invite them to solve it together.
Use Plan B: the three-step collaborative conversation
- Participatory Problem Solving Children
A collaborative solution that fails one of three tests — realistic, mutually satisfying, safe — will not hold.
- Problem Solving Therapy As A Parent
After the emotional storm passes, invite the child to find a solution with you.
Problem-solve together once the child is calm
- Realistic Kids Problem Solving
A collaborative solution that fails one of three tests — realistic, mutually satisfying, safe — will not hold.
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