Coaching practices for There Are Several Things on the Table Here and Some Matter Way More to Me Than Others I Want to Figure Out Which of My Smaller Concerns I Can Happily Give Away in Exchange for the One or Two Things I Really Need So We're Not Fighting Equally Hard Over Every Single Point
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For There Are Several Things on the Table Here and Some Matter Way More to Me Than Others I Want to Figure Out Which of My Smaller Concerns I Can Happily Give Away in Exchange for the One or Two Things I Really Need So We're Not Fighting Equally Hard Over Every Single Point, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- There are several things on the table here, and some matter way more to me than others
- We’ve got several things on the table and we keep splitting each one right down the middle, leaving us both half-satisfied on everything
- I keep butting heads with someone over what each of us wants, and we’re stuck trading positions back and forth
- We’re haggling issue by issue, splitting the difference on each one, and it’s leaving us both worse off
- I can’t get a read on what the other side actually cares about most
Practices that may help
- Logroll by trading issues of unequal importance
Concede on what matters less to you in exchange for gains on what matters more.
Expanding the Pie: Negotiation Beyond Splitting the Difference - Trade across differing priorities
Give on what you value less to get what you value more — and have them do the same.
Win-Win Thinking: Expanding the Pie - Using values questions to deepen a conversation
Ask "what matters most to you about this?" to surface values rather than surface preferences.
Values Card Sort - Trade across issues where each side has different priorities
Give the counterpart what they care most about; get what you care most about — logrolling is only possible when interests differ.
Interests vs. Positions: The Core of Integrative Negotiation - Make multiple equivalent simultaneous offers (MESOs)
Propose several package deals of equal value to you — see which the other side prefers.
Expanding the Pie: Negotiation Beyond Splitting the Difference - Probe for interests, not positions
Ask why the other side wants what they say they want before responding to what they say.
Expanding the Pie: Negotiation Beyond Splitting the Difference - Add issues to expand the pie
Bring more variables in — timing, scope, future work — so there’s more to trade.
Win-Win Thinking: Expanding the Pie - Circle your top 5 without negotiating
From 25, choose exactly 5 — the ones you’d feel worst about not doing.
Warren Buffett’s Two-List Strategy - Mapping shared and divergent values in a relationship
Do the card sort alongside someone important to you and compare — do not assume your rankings match.
Values Card Sort - Three-goals prioritization: objective, relationship, or self-respect?
Before entering a difficult conversation, decide which of the three goals matters most right now.
DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness: Getting What You Need Without Destroying the Relationship
Related concerns
- When Win Win Thinking Trade On Differences
Give on what you value less to get what you value more — and have them do the same.
Trade across differing priorities
- Add Issues Negotiation
When you’re stuck on a single issue, adding more issues often creates room for trades that satisfy both sides.
Expand the ZOPA by adding issues to the negotiation
- Trade Across Issues
Give the counterpart what they care most about; get what you care most about — logrolling is only possible when interests differ.
Trade across issues where each side has different priorities
- Integrative Bargaining Tactics
When both sides care about the same thing — quality, reputation, timing — agreements that serve that shared interest outperform splits.
Identify compatible interests for joint gain
- Integrative Negotiation Options
When both sides care about the same thing — quality, reputation, timing — agreements that serve that shared interest outperform splits.
- Integrative Vs Distributive Bargaining
Give the counterpart what they care most about; get what you care most about — logrolling is only possible when interests differ.
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