Change "it" language into "I" language

Say "I am trembling" instead of "it is trembling", and add "and I take responsibility for it" to what you say.

Pourquoi ça marche

Levitsky and Perls observed that people often speak about their own bodies, feelings and acts in the third person or the passive voice ("it just came out", "my hand is shaking"), which keeps the behaviour at a distance. Through the seemingly mechanical change from "it" to "I", a person identifies more clearly with what they are doing and takes responsibility for it. The "I take responsibility" game extends the same move: adding "…and I take responsibility for it" to each statement makes the ownership audible.

Comment faire

1. For one conversation or journal entry, listen for "it", "you" and passive phrasing about your own experience ("it gets to me", "you just freeze", "mistakes were made").
2. Restate each one in the first person and present tense: "I get angry", "I freeze", "I made the mistake".
3. Try a few other swaps the Gestalt literature suggests: "I can't" into "I won't", and "but" into "and". Notice which ones feel true and which do not.
4. For a statement that matters, add "…and I take responsibility for it" and notice what happens in you as you say it.

Données probantes

"It" language and "I" language is one of the rules, and "I take responsibility" one of the games, in Levitsky and Perls's 1970 chapter, both described with direct quotation in Witchel's 1973 review, which also records the further swaps ("I can't" into "I won't", "but" into "and") from Foulds. It is established Gestalt practice; no study has tested the language change on its own. (clinical)

Some swaps do not fit every situation: "I can't" sometimes really means can't. The exercise is a test of whether a statement is true when owned, not a rule that every limit is a choice.

Sources

• Levitsky, A., & Perls, F. S. (1970). The rules and games of Gestalt therapy. In J. Fagan & I. L. Shepherd (Eds.), Gestalt Therapy Now: Theory, Techniques, Applications. Science and Behavior Books.
• Witchel, R. (1973). Gestalt Therapy: Development, Theory, and Techniques. Paper presented at the American Personnel and Guidance Association meeting, Atlanta (ERIC document ED082090).

Erreur fréquente

Using "I take responsibility" as self-blame. Owning that "I freeze" is about noticing that you are the one doing it, which makes it something you can work with; it is not a verdict that you are at fault.