Pay the shadow out in a small symbolic act

Give the energy behind a projection a deliberate, contained, symbolic outlet instead of letting it land on a person.

Perché funziona

Johnson argues that shadow energy does not disappear when it is ignored; if it is not acknowledged consciously it gets acted out unconsciously, and he tells of landing his own unacknowledged irritation on a stranger. His alternative is ritual or ceremony: a deliberate, symbolic act that acknowledges the other side of a situation without harming anyone. One example he gives is a household custom of von Franz and Barbara Hannah, in which whoever had good fortune that week took out the rubbish, a small act honouring the dark side of something good.

Come farlo

1. When you notice charged energy about someone that you have decided not to put on them, name the energy in one word (contempt, envy, pride, irritation).
2. Choose a small, private, symbolic act that acknowledges it and harms no one: a humble chore, a few written lines you then burn or bin, a deliberate walk.
3. Do it consciously, saying to yourself what it stands for.
4. Afterwards, notice whether the urge to put the energy on the other person has changed.

Prove scientifiche

Ritual and ceremony as a conscious way to honour the shadow, with the examples above, are described in Johnson's Owning Your Own Shadow. Research on venting urges keeping the act symbolic: in Bushman's experiment, angered people who hit a punching bag while thinking about the person who angered them became angrier and more aggressive afterward than those who did nothing. (anecdotal)

The venting study tests hitting a bag while dwelling on a person, not Johnson's symbolic ritual; it is cited as a reason to keep the act symbolic rather than rehearsing anger at someone. If anger feels frightening or close to hurting someone, get support rather than working with it alone.

Fonti

• Johnson, R. A. (1991). Owning Your Own Shadow: Understanding the Dark Side of the Psyche. HarperSanFrancisco.
• Bushman, B. J. (2002). Does venting anger feed or extinguish the flame? Catharsis, rumination, distraction, anger, and aggressive responding. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 28(6), 724-731.

Errore comune

Turning the ritual into venting at the person in your imagination. The act is meant to acknowledge the energy as yours, not to rehearse an attack on them, which the venting research suggests can make the anger stronger.