Talk to it: open a dialogue in the second person

Address the person or image directly as "you", ask it questions, and let it answer.

Perché funziona

Moving from "it" to "you" turns an object into something you are in relationship with. Integral Life's module suggests asking questions such as who or what are you, where do you come from, and what do you want from me, and then letting the figure respond. Writing or speaking its answers, rather than deciding them in advance, lets the charged quality show what it is about, and starts to close the distance that the third-person view kept in place.

Come farlo

1. Imagine the person or image in front of you, or in a chair across from you.
2. Speak to it directly using "you". Tell it how it makes you feel.
3. Ask: Who or what are you? Where do you come from? What do you want from me? What do you need me to know?
4. Write down or speak its replies as they come, without editing them. Stay curious rather than arguing back.

Prove scientifiche

Talking to the figure in the second person is the 3-2-1 Process's second step, with the example questions taken from Integral Life's module article. No controlled study of the 3-2-1 Process was found. The closest researched relative is chair work: Kellogg's review traces dialogue with an imagined other across therapies, and a pilot of emotion-focused two-chair dialogue with nine self-critical clients found reduced self-criticism and increased self-compassion, maintained at six months. (anecdotal)

The chair-work studies test other therapies, not the 3-2-1 Process; they support the dialogue move by analogy only. If the dialogue brings up more than you can stay steady with, stop and continue with a trained therapist.

Fonti

• Wilber, K., Patten, T., Leonard, A., & Morelli, M. (2008). Integral Life Practice: A 21st-Century Blueprint for Physical Health, Emotional Balance, Mental Clarity, and Spiritual Awakening. Integral Books.
• Hamilton, Diane Musho (2017, April 17). The 3-2-1 Shadow Process: Face It, Talk to It, Be It. Integral Life (Integral Life Practice module).
• Kellogg, S. (2004). Dialogical encounters: Contemporary perspectives on "chairwork" in psychotherapy. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Practice, Training, 41(3), 310-320.
• Shahar, B., Carlin, E. R., Engle, D. E., Hegde, J., Szepsenwol, O., & Arkowitz, H. (2012). A pilot investigation of emotion-focused two-chair dialogue intervention for self-criticism. Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy, 19(6), 496-507.

Errore comune

Turning the dialogue into an argument or a lecture. If you only tell it off, you are still holding it at a distance; the step works when you ask and actually listen to what comes back.