Come back to plain, ordinary being
Set the developmental frame down entirely, a few times a day, and simply be one ordinary person among many.
Why it works
Cook-Greuter (2018) describes late-stage maturity as including a return to the simple, childlike joy of being alive and delight in the senses, alongside accepting that one is mortal and fallible — "we are all bozos on the same bus." She frames the whole arc of development as moving from unconscious union toward a conscious union with everything, and the Unitive stage has been summarized from her 1999 work as a sustained openness in which transpersonal experience is integrated into a fluid state of being. Ordinary presence is the opposite of watching yourself develop, which is why it is practiced rather than analyzed.
How to do it
- Three times today, do one ordinary task — washing a cup, walking to the car — with full attention to the senses and no commentary about what it means.
- Once today, sit with someone without monitoring how present or developed you are being.
- Before sleep, remind yourself in plain words that you are one fallible, mortal person among billions, and notice whether that feels heavy or light.
- Let days go by without any developmental reflection at all.
Evidence
The return to simple joy, acceptance of being mortal and fallible, and the arc toward conscious union are from Cook-Greuter’s 2018 essay. The description of the Unitive stage as sustained openness integrating transpersonal experience into a fluid state of being is Daniels et al.’s (2018) summary of Cook-Greuter’s 1999 dissertation. No study tests whether practicing ordinary presence moves anyone toward the Unitive stage. (anecdotal)
The Unitive stage is the least studied in the sequence. Practicing ordinary presence is worthwhile on its own terms, not as a technique for reaching a stage.
Sources
- Cook-Greuter, S. R. (2018). The Construct-Aware Stage of Ego Development and its Relationship to the Fool Archetype. Integral Review, 14(1), 300–310.
- Daniels, D., Saracino, T., Fraley, M., Christian, J., & Pardo, S. (2018). Advancing Ego Development in Adulthood Through Study of the Enneagram System of Personality. Journal of Adult Development, 25(4), 229–241.
Common mistake
Turning ordinariness into another achievement — becoming very good at being ordinary. If you notice you are performing it, that noticing is enough; go back to the cup.
Practice this with IX Coach
More practices for The Construct-Aware and Unitive Stages of Adult Development
- Catch the map being drawn
Notice, in an ordinary moment, the instant raw experience is turned into a label and a story.
- Look at the big words you treat as things
Take an abstraction you live by — purpose, true self, growth — and see what it is made of.
- Let a paradox stay a paradox
When two things you know are both true contradict each other, let them stand without forcing a resolution.
- Watch what the ego is protecting
In the moment you flare up, ask whether you are protecting feeling safe, feeling important, or feeling lasting.
- Don’t make "late stage" your new identity
Notice when developmental insight becomes a status to defend, and set it down.
- Take yourself lightly: the wise-fool practice
Let yourself laugh at how seriously you take your own growth.
- Let the ground give way without grabbing a new theory
When every belief starts to look like a story, stay with the disorientation instead of rushing to a new framework.
- Tend well-being as a separate path from maturity
Because seeing more and feeling better are different kinds of growth, give each its own attention.
Related concepts
- Ego Development Theory: What It Is and How It Is Measured
The frame you make meaning through, how researchers measure it, and how to work with it without ranking anyone
- Terri O’Fallon’s STAGES Model, Made Practical
Twelve stages built from three repeating questions, and how to work with the one you are in
- The Self-Transforming Mind: Kegan’s Fifth Order, Made Practical
When your own way of seeing becomes something you can look at, question, and let be changed
- Kegan’s Subject-Object Theory, Made Practical
Moving from being run by your assumptions to being able to examine them
- Torbert’s Seven Action Logics of Leadership
Seven ways leaders make sense of pressure, how common each is, and how to work with your own
- Non-Dual Awareness, Made Practical
Effortless mindfulness and the recognition of open, aware presence
- Ken Wilber’s Integral Theory (AQAL), Made Practical
Five elements for catching what your view of a situation leaves out, held as a map rather than a truth
- The Witness Stance
Observing experience from a stable, non-reactive vantage point
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