Draw your egogram
Sketch a bar chart of how much time you spend in each ego state, and see which one to grow.
Why it works
John Dusay proposed the egogram, a bar chart of the energy a person puts into each functional ego state: a controlling or critical Parent, a nurturing Parent, the Adult, a free Child and an adapted (compliant) Child. His accompanying "constancy hypothesis" held that the total stays roughly fixed, so when one state grows another shrinks. The practical consequence is that a person who wants less of a harsh Critical Parent does better by deliberately exercising a low bar, such as the Free Child or the Nurturing Parent, than by trying to suppress the high one.
How to do it
- Draw five columns: Critical Parent, Nurturing Parent, Adult, Free Child, Adapted Child.
- Without overthinking, draw a bar for each showing how much of an ordinary week you spend in it, judged by what you actually do, not what you wish.
- Ask one or two people who know you well to draw one for you, and compare.
- Pick the lowest bar you would like higher, and choose one small action this week that exercises it (play, praise someone, ask a factual question).
Evidence
The egogram and the constancy hypothesis come from Dusay's 1972 paper in the Transactional Analysis Journal. It is a self-assessment and teaching tool used throughout TA practice; the hand-drawn version is a picture of how someone sees themselves, not a measurement. (clinical)
The constancy hypothesis is a working assumption that has not been confirmed experimentally, and a hand-drawn egogram reflects self-perception, which others may not share. It is a reflection aid, not a test result.
Sources
Common mistake
Trying to flatten your highest bar by force. Dusay's point is the opposite: build up the low bar, and the high one tends to lose energy on its own.
Practice this with IX Coach
More practices for Transactional Analysis: The Parent, Adult and Child in Every Conversation
- Recognise which ego state is speaking
Catch whether your words, tone and posture are coming from your Parent, your Adult or your Child.
- Diagram a complementary or crossed transaction
Draw the ego states behind each line of an exchange to see why it flowed or why it broke down.
- Cross a stuck exchange from the Adult
When the same parent-and-child exchange keeps going, answer from your Adult on purpose to change its course.
- Read the ulterior message and name the game
Notice when what is said and what is meant differ, and spot the familiar exchange that ends in the same bad feeling.
- Break one rule of the stroke economy
Ask for, accept or give the recognition you usually hold back, one rule at a time.
- Find your corner of the OK Corral
Place an encounter on Ernst's grid of I'm OK / You're OK to see how it ended and where it came from.
- Trace a script decision back to childhood
Find the early conclusion about yourself that a repeating pattern keeps obeying, and see that it was a decision.
Related concepts
- Shadow Work
Meeting the parts of yourself you have been ignoring
- The Karpman Drama Triangle: Persecutor, Rescuer, Victim and the Way Out
Seeing the blamer, the fixer and the helpless one in a conflict, and how each corner can be answered another way
- Internal Family Systems (IFS), Made Practical
The parts model, the mechanisms behind it, and an honest read on an emerging evidence base
- Schema Therapy: Healing Early Maladaptive Beliefs
Early maladaptive schemas, schema modes, and the practices that gradually heal them
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