Stop doing this alone and reach a person
If the chair work leaves you flooded, unsafe, or with thoughts of not being here, reach a real person now.
Por que funciona
An empty-chair exercise can bring old pain up faster than one person can hold alone, and a body that keeps shaking or crying is a signal to step back, not proof that you are doing it wrong. A trained person can help you feel steady, sort out what is happening, and decide what comes next. Reaching out at this point is part of doing the work safely.
Como fazer
- Stop the empty chair work for now. Let whatever is happening be, without needing to finish or understand it tonight.
- Tell one person you trust what is happening, in plain words, and ask them to be with you or stay on the phone with you today.
- See a therapist or clinician soon. Choose someone trained in Emotion-Focused Therapy or Gestalt work if you can, and tell them about the chair exercise and how it left you.
- If you have thoughts of ending your life or harming yourself, or a part of you says you would be better off not here, call or text 988 in the US (the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), or find a line in your country at findahelpline.com.
- If you are in immediate danger, call your local emergency number.
- Do not go back to chair work alone until a trained person has helped you feel steady enough to try it again.
Evidência
988 and the Find A Helpline directory are established crisis and support services. They are not studies of the empty-chair exercise, and they are included here so a person in distress knows where to turn. (clinical)
Crisis lines are support services rather than tested interventions for this exercise, and their hours and availability vary by country. If one line is busy, try another listed line, or call your local emergency number.
Fontes
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (United States): call or text 988.
- Find A Helpline: international directory of crisis and support lines.
Erro comum
Waiting for the feeling to pass on its own, or deciding that asking for help means the exercise was a mistake. Reaching out early is the more useful step.
Pratique isso com IX Coach
Mais práticas para The Empty Chair Technique: Finishing What Was Never Said
- Pause and come back to the room before going on
Stop the chair dialogue, open your eyes, and let your feet, breath and surroundings tell you that you are here, now.
- Notice the unfinished business
Recognise the relationship that still pulls at you, and name the feeling that never got resolved.
- Put the person in the empty chair and speak to them
Imagine the person in a chair facing you and talk to them directly, in the present tense.
- Say what was never said, anger and hurt separately
Let the old complaint become specific, and give the anger and the sadness each their own voice.
- Name the need they never met
Tell the person in the chair what you needed from them and did not get.
- Switch chairs and answer as them
Sit in their chair, become them for a few minutes, and answer what you just said.
- Let go: by understanding, forgiving or holding them accountable
End the dialogue by releasing the unmet expectation, whether that comes with forgiveness or not.
- Say what was left unsaid to someone who has died
When grief is stuck on something unsaid, use the chair to finally say it to the person who died.
- Choose the gentler route when facing them is too much
Know when to stop confronting the imagined person and explore the memories with a listener instead.
Conceitos relacionados
- Trabalho de Sombra
Encontrando as partes de si mesmo que você tem ignorado
- Gestalt Therapy: Awareness, Ownership and Contact in the Here and Now
Noticing what you are doing right now, owning it in your own words, and finishing what keeps pulling at you
- Two-Chair Dialogue: Working With the Inner Critic and Other Inner Splits
Giving the critic and the criticized self each a chair, so the fight inside you becomes a conversation that can change
- Vínculos Contínuos no Luto, na Prática
Manter um relacionamento interno contínuo com o falecido como parte saudável do luto