Coaching practices for Solution Focused Brief Therapy Building on What Works During Conflict

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Solution Focused Brief Therapy Building on What Works During Conflict, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

  • We solve the immediate thing but the same ugly dynamic underneath stays exactly the same, so the next disagreement plays out identically
  • It feels like this is just how I am
  • Somewhere in this I stopped seeing a problem we both have and started seeing the other person AS the problem
  • All day my attention goes straight to what went wrong
  • We both keep digging into our positions and neither of us is really hearing why the other one cares

Practices that may help

  1. Solution-Focused Brief Therapy: Building On What Works
    Solution-focused brief therapy (SFBT), developed by Steve de Shazer and Insoo Kim Berg, directs attention to what already works — client strengths, past successes, and desired futures — rather than to analyzing problems. Meta-analyses report small-to-moderate positive effects across a range of presenting issues, with particular strength in behavioral problems and depression in adult populations.
  2. Transform the relationship, not just the issue
    Use each conflict as an opportunity to raise the quality of the relationship itself.
    The Third Alternative, Made Practical
  3. Exception Finding: When Is the Problem Already Less Severe?
    Identify times when the problem was absent or less severe — these are evidence that solutions already exist.
    Solution-Focused Brief Therapy: Building On What Works
  4. Separate the person from the problem
    Treat the conflict as a problem you face together, not a contest you fight each other.
    The Third Alternative, Made Practical
  5. The Formula First-Session Task and Between-Session Noticing
    Assign between-session observation tasks that direct attention toward what’s already working.
    Solution-Focused Brief Therapy: Building On What Works
  6. Collaborating (assertive and cooperative)
    Work the underlying interests until you find a solution that genuinely meets both sides’ needs.
    The Five Conflict-Resolution Styles
  7. Preferred Future: Describing Life When the Problem Is Solved
    Ask the person to describe in concrete, behavioral detail what life looks like when things are better.
    Solution-Focused Brief Therapy: Building On What Works
  8. Find mutual purpose
    Establish a shared goal both people care about so the conversation is "us vs the problem".
    Crucial Conversations, Made Practical
  9. Use Collaborating when the relationship and the solution both matter
    Collaborating — high assertive, high cooperative — finds a solution that genuinely works for both parties, but it takes time.
    The Thomas–Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI)
  10. Use a storytelling round to build mutual understanding before solving
    Before moving to resolution, give each person a round to tell their experience of what happened.
    The Circle Process (Kay Pranis)

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