Coaching practices for Effort Praise

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Effort Praise, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• I praise my kid constantly
• My praise is all vague "nice work, good stuff" while every critique I give is razor-specific
• I tell my kid "good job, you’re so smart" constantly, and now they freeze up at anything hard and keep looking to me to confirm they’re okay
• When someone does something genuinely great I tend to file it away to mention at their review, and by the time it comes around it’s gone cold and vague
• When someone does something genuinely great I just toss off a "nice work" and move on, and it barely registers

Practices that may help

1. Encourage specific contributions and efforts
   "You set the table without being asked — that helped the whole family" is more powerful than "Good job."
   Positive Discipline (Jane Nelsen)
2. Make praise as specific as criticism
   Vague praise is nearly worthless; name exactly what was good and why.
   Radical Candor, Made Practical
3. Encourage the effort and the process, not the outcome
   Encouragement builds inner confidence; outcome-praise creates dependency on adult evaluation.
   Natural and Logical Consequences (Rudolf Dreikurs)
4. One-minute praisings: specific, immediate, genuine
   Praise that names the exact behavior immediately after it occurs reinforces that behavior far more effectively than delayed or generic recognition.
   The One Minute Manager: Three Practices That Still Work
5. Use SBI for positive feedback, not just correction
   Name the situation, behavior, and impact when someone does something right.
   The SBI Feedback Model, Made Practical
6. Give recognition generously and specifically
   Call out others’ contributions publicly, specifically, and without claiming credit for yourself.
   Give and Take: The Giver Advantage
7. Praise process, not innate ability
   Acknowledge effort, strategy, and choices rather than "you’re so smart".
   Growth Mindset: The Honest Version
8. Use descriptive praise instead of generic approval
   Tell the child exactly what they did right so they know what to repeat.
   Triple P Parenting (Matthew Sanders)
9. Seek accurate feedback, not exclusively positive feedback
   Train yourself to want feedback that is true over feedback that feels good.
   Self-Verification Theory, Made Practical
10. Complimenting Strengths Throughout the Session
    Deliberately name real strengths, efforts, and resources the person displays — not as praise but as information.
    Solution-Focused Brief Therapy: Building On What Works

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