Coaching practices for How to Stop Caring About What People Think of Me Be What I Want to Be and Feel Comfortable with it

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For How to Stop Caring About What People Think of Me Be What I Want to Be and Feel Comfortable with it, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• I’m worn out from constantly managing how I come across, replaying what people might think of me
• I’m so used to managing how I come across that I’m not even sure people know the real me
• I shrink my life down to avoid any chance of looking foolish
• In any conversation I’m so busy watching myself
• Whenever I try to act like the person I want to be

Practices that may help

1. Release the need for approval
   Let people have their opinions of you — their judgment is theirs to hold, not yours to fix.
   The Let Them Theory, Made Practical
2. Cultivate authenticity
   Let go of who you think you’re supposed to be and show up as who you actually are.
   The Gifts of Imperfection, Made Practical
3. Shame-attacking exercises
   Do something mildly embarrassing on purpose to prove you can survive and function through discomfort.
   Unconditional Self-Acceptance
4. Shift attention outward during social situations
   Direct your focus to what the other person is saying and feeling, not to how you appear.
   The Spotlight Effect: Why You Think Everyone Is Watching
5. Build self-familiarity with new identities through low-stakes repetition
   Repeatedly acting in a new way — even in small doses — makes the new behavior feel like you.
   The Mere Exposure Effect, Made Practical
6. The Spotlight Effect: Why You Think Everyone Is Watching
   The spotlight effect is the well-documented tendency to overestimate how much other people notice our appearance, mistakes, and actions — because we are the center of our own attention, we assume we are the center of theirs. Reducing this bias requires deliberately updating the estimate of how distracted, self-occupied, and inattentive others actually are.
7. Practice tolerating disapproval
   Deliberately make a small choice you believe in that you know someone won’t like — and stay with the discomfort.
   Self-Authorship: Moving From the Socialized to the Self-Authored Mind
8. Let go of others’ opinions of you
   Another’s contempt is their judgment, not your business; only your own conduct is yours to mind.
   The Enchiridion, as a Handbook
9. The practice of self-acceptance
   Be for yourself — refuse to be your own adversary, even about the parts you want to change.
   The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, Made Practical
10. The practice of self-assertiveness
    Honor your wants, needs, and values by expressing them in the world — appropriately and openly.
    The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, Made Practical

Describe your situation in your own words to search the complete practice library.