Interpersonal Resolutions: 10 Evidence-Based Coaching Practices

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Interpersonal Resolutions, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Practices that may help

1. Three-goals prioritization: objective, relationship, or self-respect?
   Before entering a difficult conversation, decide which of the three goals matters most right now.
   DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness: Getting What You Need Without Destroying the Relationship
2. Separate the person from the problem
   Treat the conflict as a problem you face together, not a contest you fight each other.
   The Third Alternative, Made Practical
3. Transform the relationship, not just the issue
   Use each conflict as an opportunity to raise the quality of the relationship itself.
   The Third Alternative, Made Practical
4. Collaborating (assertive and cooperative)
   Work the underlying interests until you find a solution that genuinely meets both sides’ needs.
   The Five Conflict-Resolution Styles
5. FAST: maintaining self-respect in difficult interactions
   Fair, no Apologies, Stick to values, Truthful — the self-respect compass for high-pressure conversations.
   DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness: Getting What You Need Without Destroying the Relationship
6. Dialogue with perpetual problems
   Accept that most conflicts are unsolvable, and learn to discuss them without gridlock.
   The Gottman Method, Made Practical
7. Frame next-year commitments as experiments, not resolutions
   A 90-day experiment is testable and revisable; a resolution is an unmeasured pledge that either holds or breaks.
   The Annual Review (Tim Ferriss Method)
8. Balance FAST with DEAR MAN when the relationship and the goal are both at stake
   Use DEAR MAN for what you want, GIVE for the relationship, and FAST for yourself — and know which to weight when they conflict.
   FAST: DBT’s Skill for Maintaining Self-Respect in Relationships
9. Willingness to sacrifice: building relationship-oriented decision-making
   Practice making at least one weekly decision that prioritizes the relationship over personal short-term convenience.
   The Investment Model of Commitment: Why People Stay (and Why They Leave)
10. Competing (assertive, uncooperative)
    Pursue your own position firmly when speed, principle, or stakes outweigh the relationship cost.
    The Five Conflict-Resolution Styles

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• Going into this hard talk I’m trying to win the point AND not hurt the relationship AND not feel like a doormat all at once, and the conversation just goes in circles→
• Somewhere in this I stopped seeing a problem we both have and started seeing the other person AS the problem→
• We solve the immediate thing but the same ugly dynamic underneath stays exactly the same, so the next disagreement plays out identically→
• We both keep digging into our positions and neither of us is really hearing why the other one cares→
• I walk away from conflicts having caved again→

Describe your situation in your own words to search the complete practice library.