Coaching practices for Teaching School Aged Children How to Handle Conflict at School

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Teaching School Aged Children How to Handle Conflict at School, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• Every conversation with my kid about their behavior turns into me laying down the law and them digging in, and I want a way to actually talk it through together
• We keep having the exact same blow-up over the exact same thing, and I’m starting to wonder if my kid genuinely doesn’t know how to handle that moment any other way
• I handle every disagreement the same way, and it works with maybe one kind of person and blows up with everyone else
• Every time I put my foot down and insist, my kid blows up worse
• When my kid is melting down I feel trapped between two bad options

Practices that may help

1. Use Plan B: the three-step collaborative conversation
   Empathize with the child’s concern, share yours, and invite them to solve it together.
   Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)
2. Take time for training — teach the skill, not just the rule
   Children misbehave partly because they don’t know how to do the right thing — teach the skill when everyone is calm.
   Positive Discipline (Jane Nelsen)
3. Adapt your conflict approach to the other person’s DISC style
   Conflict lands differently for each style — match your approach to reduce defensiveness.
   DISC Behavioral Styles
4. Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)
   Ross Greene’s Collaborative Problem Solving model holds that kids with explosive behavior lack the cognitive skills to handle frustration and inflexibility — not the motivation. The approach replaces punitive consequences with structured adult–child conversations that build lagging skills over time. Randomized trials in clinical settings show significant reductions in explosive behavior, though most real-world evidence is clinical and observational.
5. Recognize when Plan A (unilateral imposition) makes things worse
   Adult-imposed solutions can win the battle and lose the war — notice when enforcement is escalating rather than solving.
   Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)
6. Use empathy to de-escalate, not to capitulate
   Name the child’s emotional state without agreeing with every demand — empathy and limits can coexist.
   Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)
7. Choose your style deliberately
   The real skill isn’t a favorite style — it’s matching the style to the situation instead of defaulting.
   The Five Conflict-Resolution Styles
8. Evaluate solutions for durability: realistic, mutually satisfying, safe
   A collaborative solution that fails one of three tests — realistic, mutually satisfying, safe — will not hold.
   Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)
9. Hold Plan B conversations proactively, not reactively
   Solve the problem before the next explosion, when everyone is calm.
   Collaborative Problem Solving (Ross Greene)
10. Responding to conflict without escalation
    In a conflict, address the problem without attacking the person.
    Ahimsa: Non-Violence as a Daily Practice

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