Why Do I Grief? 10 Coaching Practices to Try
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Why Do I Grief, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Practices that may help
- Treating grief as a form of gratitude
When something ends and you feel grief, recognise that the grief is proportional to the love — and let it be both.
Mono no Aware: The Pathos of Things - Identify your natural grieving style and adjust for it
Know whether you tend toward more loss or more restoration orientation — and compensate accordingly.
The Dual Process Model of Grief, Made Practical - Validate your own grief without waiting for external permission
Give yourself the recognition that society has withheld — your loss is real because it matters to you.
Disenfranchised Grief, Made Practical - Create a deliberate grief window
Schedule bounded time to grieve, protecting both the grief process and the rest of life.
Worden’s Tasks of Mourning, Made Practical - Find a community that recognises your specific loss
Seek out people who have experienced the same type of loss — online or in person.
Disenfranchised Grief, Made Practical - Deliberately engage loss-oriented work
Set aside dedicated time to directly face the grief — the emotions, the absence, the meaning of the loss.
The Dual Process Model of Grief, Made Practical - Identify how cultural norms shape your grief
Examine whether cultural scripts about how long and how much to grieve are shaping your experience.
The Dual Process Model of Grief, Made Practical - Havening to soften acute grief activation
Use gentle touch and brief distraction to lower the physiological intensity of grief surges.
Self-Havening: Calming the Nervous System Through Touch - Disenfranchised Grief, Made Practical
Disenfranchised grief, named by Kenneth Doka, refers to grief for losses that are not socially acknowledged, publicly mourned, or openly supported — the death of a pet, an ex-partner, a miscarriage, an estranged parent, or any relationship the community does not sanction. Because social support is a major resource for grief, its absence compounds the loss and can complicate the grieving process significantly. - Task 4: Find an enduring connection with the deceased
Relocate the relationship from physical presence to an internal, meaningful connection.
Worden’s Tasks of Mourning, Made Practical
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- Everyone keeps telling me to move on and get over the loss, but the grief is huge and it won’t go
- I deal with my grief by doing and fixing rather than weeping, and everyone keeps treating that as cold or in denial
- I keep telling myself I shouldn’t be this wrecked when other people have lost so much more
- The grief ambushes me at the worst times
- Nobody in my life gets this kind of loss, and I’m starting to ache for even one person who’s been through the exact same thing and wouldn’t need me to explain why it matters.
Related concerns
- How Do I Know If I Have Grief
Know whether you tend toward more loss or more restoration orientation — and compensate accordingly.
Identify your natural grieving style and adjust for it
- How Does Grief Affect You
Know whether you tend toward more loss or more restoration orientation — and compensate accordingly.
- How To Deal With Grief As A Christian
Know whether you tend toward more loss or more restoration orientation — and compensate accordingly.
- What Is Grief And How To Deal With It
Know whether you tend toward more loss or more restoration orientation — and compensate accordingly.
- What To Do To Cope With Grief
Allow and process the emotional and physical pain of loss rather than bypassing it.
Task 2: Work through the pain of grief
- Why Am I So Tired Grieving
When something ends and you feel grief, recognise that the grief is proportional to the love — and let it be both.
Treating grief as a form of gratitude
Describe your situation in your own words to search the complete practice library.