Tell a challenge to a belief apart from a fight

When a view you hold is questioned and you feel stirred up, check whether you are in an argument or pulling away from an old view.

Warum es wirkt

Zeitler argues that Kjellström fuses conflict with disequilibrium, the feeling of being out of balance with a view you have been living inside. He argues that disequilibrium can open the way to wider perspectives, and that the same disequilibrium is conflict for the old self being let go but repudiation for the new self doing the letting go. He places this distinction within Subject/Object theory, which describes what you are identified with, as opposed to what you can see and hold at a distance. On this page’s reading, the source supports the distinction itself: two kinds of discomfort can feel alike and mean different things.

So gehst du vor

1. When a view you hold is questioned and you feel stirred up, write down what you would lose if you let it go.
2. Ask whether this is a disagreement with the other person, or whether part of you is pulling away from the old view.
3. Write which one you can see more clearly. You may not be able to tell yet, and that is an acceptable answer.
4. Return to the same question after a week and see whether your answer has moved.

Evidenz

Zeitler (2010) is an argument in a debate about Immunity to Change, not an outcome study. It offers the conflict-versus-disequilibrium distinction as a reading of developmental dynamics and reports no outcome data of its own for this practice. (mechanistic)

Zeitler defends the method against a critic and is an advocate for it. He quotes a 2004 study by Manners and colleagues on programs that promote stage development. This page did not read that study and makes no claim about it.

Quellen

• Zeitler, D. (2010). Coaching Ethics and Immunity to Change: A Response to Kjellström. Integral Review, 6(2).

Häufiger Fehler

Treating every discomfort as a sign of growth, or every challenge as an attack. The distinction only helps sort the discomfort; it does not show which view is right.