Practise patience with yourself so the path does not become perfectionism

Use the tradition’s own remedies — encouragement, rest, rejoicing — when the ideal of perfection starts turning into a stick.

Por qué funciona

An ideal called “perfection” invites being measured against it. Patrul Rinpoche’s guide builds in the counterweights: self-discouragement is named as a kind of laziness, answered by encouraging yourself and building confidence; the force of moderation means resting when tired or disheartened; the force of joy means celebrating the good you do; and rejoicing in the good done by others is one of the favourable factors for the bodhisattva’s aspiration. Harsh self-judgement drains the joy that, in this teaching, is effort’s fuel — so being patient with your own slowness is part of the path, not a break from it.

Cómo hacerlo

1. Notice the sentence in your head when you fall short of an ideal — write it down exactly.
2. Ask whether you would say it to a friend on the same path; if not, rewrite it as you would say it to them.
3. Name one good thing you did today, however small, and let yourself be glad of it.
4. Name one good thing someone else did, and rejoice in it — this turns attention outward without excusing yourself.
5. If you are tired or disheartened, rest, and treat that as part of the practice.

Evidencia

The remedies for self-discouragement, the forces of moderation and joy, and rejoicing are from Patrul Rinpoche’s guide. A related modern construct, self-compassion — self-kindness, common humanity and mindfulness — was defined by Neff (2003). In a randomised trial of a nine-week secular Compassion Cultivation Training program, 100 adults assigned to training or a waitlist showed improved compassion for others, receiving compassion from others and self-compassion compared with the waitlist (Jazaieri et al., 2013). (rct)

The trial tests a modern secular compassion program with self-report measures and a waitlist control, not the bodhisattva’s patience with oneself; it is evidence for a related practice. Patrul Rinpoche’s own text does not use the words “perfectionism” or “self-compassion”; applying his remedies to perfectionism is this page’s reading.

Fuentes

• Patrul Rinpoche. The Brightly Shining Sun: A Step-by-Step Guide to Meditating on the Bodhicaryāvatāra, trans. Adam Pearcey (2004; revised 2007 and 2019). Lotsawa House.
• Neff, K. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85–101.
• Jazaieri, H., Jinpa, G. T., McGonigal, K., Rosenberg, E. L., Finkelstein, J., Simon-Thomas, E., Cullen, M., Doty, J. R., Gross, J. J., & Goldin, P. R. (2013). Enhancing Compassion: A Randomized Controlled Trial of a Compassion Cultivation Training Program. Journal of Happiness Studies, 14(4), 1113–1126.

Error común

Treating patience with yourself as lowering the standard — the remedies here keep the aspiration and change the tone in which you hold it, because discouragement stalls the path faster than slowness does.