Say hello to the part that pushes back against a feeling
When a reaction such as impatience or "not this again" rises against a feeling, say hello to that reaction as well, so it is acknowledged rather than pushing the feeling out of view.
Por qué funciona
Greeting a feeling is the base step on focusing-felt-sense. What Inner Relationship Focusing adds is the same greeting for whatever reacts against that feeling. In the authors' 2008 article, a part "that doesn't want to know" is greeted with "Hello I know you're there too," and when a client notes another part, the article says "we're saying Hello to that too." Greeting the reaction keeps it in view alongside the feeling rather than leaving it unacknowledged behind it.
Cómo hacerlo
- Greet the feeling first, as focusing-felt-sense describes, then notice a reaction that comes up against it: impatience, dislike, "not this again."
- Say hello to that reaction as well: "Hello, I know you're there too."
- If it does not want to know about the feeling, acknowledge it without asking it to change; "for now, just hello" can be enough.
Evidencia
The Power of Focusing has Cornell greeting feelings in a case example (p. 134), and the authors' 2008 article shows the greeting extended to a reaction against a feeling in a session transcript. These are teaching examples, not tested results. (anecdotal)
The feelings that ease after a greeting are Cornell's teaching cases, not measured outcomes. A hello will not always change how a feeling feels, and it is not meant to; it is an acknowledgment, not a positive statement about yourself.
Fuentes
- Cornell, A. W. (1996). The Power of Focusing: A Practical Guide to Emotional Self-Healing. New Harbinger Publications.
- Cornell, A. W., & McGavin, B. (2008). Inner Relationship Focusing. Focusing Folio, 21(1).
Error común
Greeting the reaction as a way to make it leave, then getting frustrated when it stays. The hello acknowledges that the reaction is there; getting rid of it is not the aim.
Practica esto con IX Coach
Más prácticas para Inner Relationship Focusing: Being With the Parts of You That Feel
- Say "something in me" instead of "I am"
Change "I am angry" to "I'm sensing something in me that feels angry", so you can be with the feeling instead of being it.
- Keep it company with interested curiosity
Check whether it is all right to be with what you feel, then sit with it the way you would sit with a frightened child: no pushing, no fixing.
- Sense how it feels from its point of view
Shift from how the feeling seems to you to how things seem to it: what it feels, and what its mood is.
- Invite what it does not want to happen
Invite a stuck feeling or reaction to let you know what it does not want to happen to you; underneath there is often something it is protecting.
- Be with the inner critic and the part it criticizes
Instead of fighting the critic or collapsing under it, sense both the critic and the part being criticized as something in you, each in its own space.
- Notice when you have merged with a part or are pushing one away
Recognize the two ways of losing Presence — becoming the part, or shutting it out — and come back to being the one who can be with both.
- Take turns with a Focusing companion
Trade time with a partner: one person focuses and leads, the other keeps them company by saying back what they hear.
Conceptos relacionados
- Focusing y el Sentido Sentido, De Forma Práctica
Escuchar el conocimiento preverbal del cuerpo — los seis pasos y sus mecanismos
- Trabajo con la sombra
Encontrarte con las partes de ti mismo que has estado ignorando
- Sistemas de la Familia Interna (IFS), en la Práctica
El modelo de partes, los mecanismos detrás de él, y una lectura honesta de una base de evidencia emergente
- Voice Dialogue: Meeting the Selves That Run Your Life
Hearing the pusher, the pleaser and the critic in their own voices, so they stop running you unnoticed