Ego State Therapy: The Different Selves You Shift Between
Why you are calm at work and lost at a family dinner, and what a parts model can and cannot do about it
What is ego state therapy and what is it used for?
Ego state therapy is a parts-based method set out by John G. Watkins and Helen H. Watkins. It treats personality as a "family" of ego states — organized patterns of feeling, thinking and behaving that come forward in different situations — and works by contacting the state that holds a problem and resolving conflicts between states, a process Helen Watkins called internal diplomacy. In the sources, the deeper work is done by a trained clinician under hypnosis. On your own, the useful parts are understanding the model and noticing which state is running you in which situation.
John and Helen Watkins set out ego state theory and therapy in Ego States: Theory and Therapy (1997). The confident self that runs a meeting, the tongue-tied self that appears in front of a parent, the playful self with old friends: each is a state with its own mood, logic and skills, and most of the time we move between them without noticing. Gordon Emmerson, who later wrote a practitioner handbook on the method, puts it simply: when we say "part of me wants to", we are talking about an ego state. In Emmerson's examples, a cue can make one state executive, and two states that are not communicating are another pattern he names. It matters to be plain about what this page offers. Ego state therapy is a clinical method: a trained therapist contacts the states, usually under hypnosis, and helps the ones that carry pain resolve it. That part is understanding-only here; it belongs in a session with a clinician trained in the approach. The practices below are the modest, self-applied pieces adapted from the sources — mapping your states, hearing "part of me" as two states, noticing what cues an old state, a written or two-chair exchange between states, and finding a role for each — and each says when to stop and get support instead.
Practices
- Map the states you shift between in an ordinary week
List the distinct versions of yourself that show up in different settings, and what each is good at.
- Hear "part of me" as two states that disagree
When you catch yourself saying "part of me wants to", name both states and what each one wants.
- Notice what cues a younger, older-feeling state
Track the situations that bring forward a state whose reaction feels much older than the moment, without trying to dig into it alone.
- Give two disagreeing states a chair each
Let each of two conflicting states speak from its own seat, so they can hear each other.
- Write letters between two of your states
Let one state write to another, then let the other write back.
- Negotiate a role for each state instead of silencing one
Look for an arrangement in which each conflicting state has a place, at the right time.
How these practices connect
Every practice here rests on one claim from the Watkins model: what feels like a single self is a family of ego states, and at a given time one of them can be in charge. Mapping your states and hearing "part of me" as two states make the family visible; noticing what cues an older-feeling state shows when one takes over without fitting the moment; a chair or a letter for each state lets two of them hear each other; negotiating a role for each turns a fight into a division of labour. The clinical method goes further — the sources describe a trained therapist contacting deeper states under hypnosis and helping the ones carrying pain resolve it — and that is the part kept for a session, not for solo practice.
How is ego state therapy different from Internal Family Systems if both work with parts?
Both treat the mind as made of parts. Ego state therapy, from John and Helen Watkins, describes a family of ego states within one person; Helen Watkins writes that covert states are hypnotically activated so a therapist can contact them, and resolves conflicts between them in what she calls internal diplomacy. Internal Family Systems, from Richard Schwartz, centres on a Self that can lead the parts. For a person working alone, the shared ground is noticing and naming parts; the deeper work the ego state sources describe is done with a therapist.
What is the difference between ego state therapy and transactional analysis ego states?
Transactional analysis, from Eric Berne, uses three ego states, Parent, Adult and Child, and also looks at how those states line up in a conversation. Ego state therapy, from John and Helen Watkins, uses the term for a family of states within one person, and there can be many of them, such as a confident work self and a frightened younger state. The therapy works inside the person, contacting a particular state and resolving its conflicts with others, which Helen Watkins calls internal diplomacy. The two share a name, but they are separate methods.
How does ego state therapy compare with Voice Dialogue and two-chair work?
All three let a part of you speak in its own voice. Voice Dialogue, developed by Hal and Sidra Stone, is built on a Psychology of Selves in which a person is made up of several sub-selves. Two-chair work in emotion-focused therapy, tested in a small pilot on self-criticism, has two parts of you speak to each other. Ego state therapy uses the empty chair too, but Emmerson presents it as one of the non-hypnotic ways in, which reach only the surface states a person can already feel. The deeper states, in this method, are reached under hypnosis with a therapist, which is the main thing that sets it apart.
Is ego state therapy evidence based, and what do the studies actually show?
The strongest evidence this page cites is two placebo-controlled trials published in 2013 of a single, five-to-six-hour, hypnosis-based session of "abreactive" ego state therapy, in which a person repeatedly relives a distressing experience with therapists present. One included 36 patients: both groups improved right after treatment, and only the treated group kept a significant improvement at follow-ups of 4 weeks and 16 to 18 weeks. The other included 30 subjects and reported the treated group improving at 1-month and 3-month follow-ups, against an Ochberg Counting Method placebo. Both were in clinical samples, both share an author (Barabasz; John Watkins co-authored the first), and both test the clinician-led procedure, not anything self-applied. Hageman and Frederick (2013) write that until recently phenomenological studies were the basis for the standards of care and training. So the therapy has early controlled support for one clinical use; the self-applied pieces have none.
Which parts of ego state therapy can I do on my own, and which need a clinician?
The understanding is yours to use: the idea that you move between states, that "part of me" can point to two states disagreeing, and that a reaction far bigger than the moment can come from a state cued by something familiar. Low-key practices also fit solo use — mapping your states across settings, a two-chair exchange or letters between two states you can already feel, and working out a role for each. What belongs with a trained clinician is the core of the method: hypnotic access to deeper states, bridging a feeling back to where it began, and resolving painful material. If any solo practice leaves you flooded or losing track of where you are, stop and take it to a therapist.
How do you choose between these?
If you mostly feel like a different person in different places, start by mapping your states. If you keep saying "part of me wants this and part of me does not", hear the two sides as two states and write what each wants. If one particular situation sets off a reaction that feels much younger than you, track the cue and stop there, taking anything deeper to a clinician. If two states are stuck arguing, give them a chair each or let them write to each other. Once both sides have been heard, negotiate a role for each so neither has to be silenced.
What these approaches do not settle
Ego state therapy is primarily a clinician-led method, and most of the sources cited on this page are hypnosis journals. As of 2026-10-14, the controlled evidence this page found is the two trials it cites: placebo-controlled, single-session, hypnosis-based, in clinical samples. I did not run an exhaustive search for other controlled studies. The self-applied practices on this page have not been studied. The chair-work research cited for one practice tests a different therapy. Helen Watkins's abstract says covert ego states do not normally become overt except in one condition it names, and are hypnotically activated, so solo practice reaches the surface states you can already feel. Anything that brings up overwhelming feelings belongs with a trained therapist.
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Related concepts
- Shadow Work
Meeting the parts of yourself you have been ignoring
- Internal Family Systems (IFS), Made Practical
The parts model, the mechanisms behind it, and an honest read on an emerging evidence base
- Voice Dialogue: Meeting the Selves That Run Your Life
Hearing the pusher, the pleaser and the critic in their own voices, so they stop running you unnoticed
- Transactional Analysis: The Parent, Adult and Child in Every Conversation
Hearing which part of you is talking, which part of them is answering, and why some conversations always end the same way