Be with the inner critic and the part it criticizes

Instead of fighting the critic or collapsing under it, sense both the critic and the part being criticized as something in you, each in its own space.

Por que funciona

In her essay "Radical Gentleness", Cornell argues that criticizing the critic only continues the criticizing at another level, and that the critic believes it is helping. When you feel attacked, she reframes it: something in you is being criticized by something in you. The criticized part reacts by collapsing, rebelling or going blank, and noticing which of these is happening helps you step back into Presence. Under the critic's certainty there is often worry, and sensing that worry and what it does not want changes the relationship. In Cornell's example, giving each side its own sentence means each one is felt as more separate.

Como fazer

1. Notice the criticizing: labels like "stupid" or "lazy", and words like "should" and "have to".
2. Come into Presence: "I'm sensing something in me that is criticizing, and something in me that is being criticized."
3. Notice how the criticized part is reacting — agreeing it is that bad, rebelling, or going blank — and say hello to that.
4. Sense whether the critic is worried or afraid under its certainty, then invite what it does not want to happen to you.
5. Keep each side in its own sentence and sense each one in your body in its own time, without deciding who is right.

Evidência

These steps come from Cornell's essay "Radical Gentleness", which sets out the approach to inner critics that she and McGavin developed. The Power of Focusing already invites saying hello to the inner critic as a part of you, and McGavin wrote about transforming inner critics through Presence in Self & Society (2005). No outcome study of this approach was found. (anecdotal)

A practitioner method, not a tested one. Cornell advises going slowly with very harsh critics tied to a painful history, and respecting any inner signal to pause. If the attacks are relentless, or come with thoughts of harming yourself, stop and contact a therapist or a crisis line rather than working with them alone.

Fontes

• Cornell, A. W. (n.d.). Radical Gentleness: The Transformation of the Inner Critic. In The Radical Acceptance of Everything: Living a Focusing Life (featuring Barbara McGavin). Calluna Press.
• Cornell, A. W. (1996). The Power of Focusing: A Practical Guide to Emotional Self-Healing. New Harbinger Publications.
• McGavin, B. (2005). Transforming our Inner Critics: the Power of Presence. Self & Society, 33(2), 24-29.

Erro comum

Siding with one part: arguing back at the critic for the criticized part, or agreeing with the critic. Cornell's point is that fighting the critic is more of the same criticizing, one level up.