Say hello to the part that pushes back against a feeling

When a reaction such as impatience or "not this again" rises against a feeling, say hello to that reaction as well, so it is acknowledged rather than pushing the feeling out of view.

Por que funciona

Greeting a feeling is the base step on focusing-felt-sense. What Inner Relationship Focusing adds is the same greeting for whatever reacts against that feeling. In the authors' 2008 article, a part "that doesn't want to know" is greeted with "Hello I know you're there too," and when a client notes another part, the article says "we're saying Hello to that too." Greeting the reaction keeps it in view alongside the feeling rather than leaving it unacknowledged behind it.

Como fazer

1. Greet the feeling first, as focusing-felt-sense describes, then notice a reaction that comes up against it: impatience, dislike, "not this again."
2. Say hello to that reaction as well: "Hello, I know you're there too."
3. If it does not want to know about the feeling, acknowledge it without asking it to change; "for now, just hello" can be enough.

Evidência

The Power of Focusing has Cornell greeting feelings in a case example (p. 134), and the authors' 2008 article shows the greeting extended to a reaction against a feeling in a session transcript. These are teaching examples, not tested results. (anecdotal)

The feelings that ease after a greeting are Cornell's teaching cases, not measured outcomes. A hello will not always change how a feeling feels, and it is not meant to; it is an acknowledgment, not a positive statement about yourself.

Fontes

• Cornell, A. W. (1996). The Power of Focusing: A Practical Guide to Emotional Self-Healing. New Harbinger Publications.
• Cornell, A. W., & McGavin, B. (2008). Inner Relationship Focusing. Focusing Folio, 21(1).

Erro comum

Greeting the reaction as a way to make it leave, then getting frustrated when it stays. The hello acknowledges that the reaction is there; getting rid of it is not the aim.