Mapping the circle of people you feel close to
List the people you feel most responsible to and close to, and mark which of them hold a belief or value that differs from yours.
Por que funciona
Mallery and Mallery (2022) report social-horizon factors (groupings of questionnaire items about how far a person’s responsibility and closeness reach) that separate responsibility to people inside one’s own group, valuing difference within a group, and feeling close to people whose views are very different. This practice makes that spectrum visible in your own list, so you can see where closeness sits and where it stops.
Como fazer
- List the ten people you feel most responsible to.
- Beside each name, write one belief or value on which you differ, or write “same”.
- Count the “same” answers and notice whether they cluster around one group.
- Choose one person whose difference you have not talked about, and write one thing you actually value in how they see things.
- Write one sentence about what you noticed regarding closeness and difference.
Evidência
The social-horizon distinction comes from the factor structure in Mallery and Mallery (2022). Using it as a personal map is an inference, and the factor associations are correlational. (mechanistic)
The authors note that the line between the value-difference and close-to-different-others factors was not strong. The map is a prompt for reflection, not a measure of anyone.
Fontes
Erro comum
Counting agreement as closeness, then reading a long list of “same” answers as evidence of maturity or of failure. The associations with stage come from questionnaire responses, and the authors say further longitudinal data is needed to identify whether these styles develop sequentially.
Pratique isso com IX Coach
Mais práticas para James Fowler’s Stages of Faith, Made Practical
- Faith timeline: mapping what you trusted at each age
Draw your life as one line and mark, age by age, what you trusted to make sense of things and where that trust changed hands.
- Centers of value: answering the four questions in writing
Write down what you give your life to, who you are committed to in life and death, what you hope for, and who you share your most sacred hopes with.
- Master stories: naming the story you were handed about how life works
Write the story you live by, and name who or what you picture holding the final say when things go wrong.
- Retelling one disagreement from the other side
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- Holding two frames at once without picking a winner
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- Talking with someone about a conviction you do not share
Ask someone who holds a conviction you do not share what it protects for them, repeat their answer back until they say it is right, then say what you still hold.
- Asking whether an old frame still fits this moment
When you notice yourself reaching for a belief you were raised with, ask whether it fits the situation in front of you, and write what the situation actually needs.
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