How to Talk About Conflict Resolution: 10 Evidence-Based Coaching Practices
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For How to Talk About Conflict Resolution, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Practices that may help
- Transform the relationship, not just the issue
Use each conflict as an opportunity to raise the quality of the relationship itself.
The Third Alternative, Made Practical - Debrief and repair after the conflict is over
The conversation after the fight -- done calmly -- is where lasting repair happens.
Repair Attempts: Gottman's Key to Surviving Conflict in Relationships - Use a storytelling round to build mutual understanding before solving
Before moving to resolution, give each person a round to tell their experience of what happened.
The Circle Process (Kay Pranis) - Separate the person from the problem
Treat the conflict as a problem you face together, not a contest you fight each other.
The Third Alternative, Made Practical - Avoiding (unassertive, uncooperative)
Sidestep or postpone the conflict when timing is bad or the issue isn’t worth engaging.
The Five Conflict-Resolution Styles - Build a shared repair vocabulary
Agree on repair phrases in advance so both partners recognize them when they land mid-conflict.
Repair Attempts: Gottman's Key to Surviving Conflict in Relationships - Find mutual purpose
Establish a shared goal both people care about so the conversation is "us vs the problem".
Crucial Conversations, Made Practical - Move to action
Close the conversation by deciding how decisions get made, then assigning who does what by when.
Crucial Conversations, Made Practical - Easy Manner: bring a light touch when appropriate
Use humor, lightness, and warmth to remind both of you that the relationship is bigger than this conflict.
GIVE: DBT’s Skill for Preserving Relationships During Difficult Conversations - Three-goals prioritization: objective, relationship, or self-respect?
Before entering a difficult conversation, decide which of the three goals matters most right now.
DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness: Getting What You Need Without Destroying the Relationship
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- We solve the immediate thing but the same ugly dynamic underneath stays exactly the same, so the next disagreement plays out identically
- We survive the fight and then just move on like it never happened, so the same argument keeps coming back
- Our group rushes straight to “so what do we do about it,” and we’re trying to solve something nobody has actually been allowed to tell their side of yet
- Somewhere in this I stopped seeing a problem we both have and started seeing the other person AS the problem
- There’s a problem I keep not bringing up
Related concerns
- How To Talk To Resolve Conflict
Use each conflict as an opportunity to raise the quality of the relationship itself.
Transform the relationship, not just the issue
- How To Resolve And Talk Through A Conflict With Your Partner Properly
The conversation after the fight -- done calmly -- is where lasting repair happens.
Debrief and repair after the conflict is over
- How To Talk Through Conflict
Use each conflict as an opportunity to raise the quality of the relationship itself.
- How To Talk Through Conflict With Your Partner
Agree on repair phrases in advance so both partners recognize them when they land mid-conflict.
Build a shared repair vocabulary
- Relationship Conflict Resolution Strategies
Use each conflict as an opportunity to raise the quality of the relationship itself.
- What To Do To Resolve Conflict
Use each conflict as an opportunity to raise the quality of the relationship itself.
Describe your situation in your own words to search the complete practice library.