Coaching practices for Team Approach Relationship Problems
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Team Approach Relationship Problems, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- Every disagreement turns into me versus them, like we’re opponents trying to win instead of two people up against the same problem
- Somewhere in this I stopped seeing a problem we both have and started seeing the other person AS the problem
- We’re both dug into opposing positions and treating it like one of us has to lose, but this is someone I’ll keep working with and the outcome genuinely matters to both of us
- Everyone on my team is quietly playing for their own scoreboard
- Every time we get into this it turns into my side versus theirs, two solutions dug in, and it never occurs to either of us that we might actually want the same thing underneath the fight.
Practices that may help
- Fight the problem, not each other
Reorient conflict so both partners face the problem together rather than facing each other.
Secure-Functioning Relationships - Separate the person from the problem
Treat the conflict as a problem you face together, not a contest you fight each other.
The Third Alternative, Made Practical - Use Collaborating when the relationship and the solution both matter
Collaborating — high assertive, high cooperative — finds a solution that genuinely works for both parties, but it takes time.
The Thomas–Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) - Align around collective results, not individual status
Teams fail when members prioritize their own visibility or department’s success over the shared goal.
The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, Made Practical - Find mutual purpose
Establish a shared goal both people care about so the conversation is "us vs the problem".
Crucial Conversations, Made Practical - Three-goals prioritization: objective, relationship, or self-respect?
Before entering a difficult conversation, decide which of the three goals matters most right now.
DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness: Getting What You Need Without Destroying the Relationship - Transform the relationship, not just the issue
Use each conflict as an opportunity to raise the quality of the relationship itself.
The Third Alternative, Made Practical - Create a culture of peer-to-peer accountability
Teams that only hold each other accountable through the manager haven’t built real accountability at all.
The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, Made Practical - Collaborating (assertive and cooperative)
Work the underlying interests until you find a solution that genuinely meets both sides’ needs.
The Five Conflict-Resolution Styles - Repair a damaged leader-follower relationship deliberately
Take active steps to reset a deteriorated relationship, rather than allowing avoidance to compound the damage.
Leader-Member Exchange (LMX), Made Practical
Related concerns
- Collaborative Conflict Culture
Collaborating — high assertive, high cooperative — finds a solution that genuinely works for both parties, but it takes time.
Use Collaborating when the relationship and the solution both matter
- Collaborative Problem Solving Ross Greene During Conflict
Ross Greene’s Collaborative Problem Solving model holds that kids with explosive behavior lack the cognitive skills to handle frustration and inflexibility — not the motivation. The approach replaces punitive consequences with structured adult–child conversations that build lagging skills over time. Randomized trials in clinical settings show significant reductions in explosive behavior, though most real-world evidence is clinical and observational.
- Effective One On Ones During Conflict
An effective one-on-one is a recurring, protected meeting that belongs to your report: they own the agenda, and your job is to listen, unblock, and support their growth — not to run a status update. The relational mechanisms (regular contact, voice, support) are well grounded; the specific cadence and format are practitioner craft built on top of them.
- How To Resolve Workplace Conflict Between Two Employees
Work the underlying interests until you find a solution that genuinely meets both sides’ needs.
Collaborating (assertive and cooperative)
- Synergy In Conflict
Collaborating — high assertive, high cooperative — finds a solution that genuinely works for both parties, but it takes time.
- Task Conflict Vs Relationship Conflict
Reorient conflict so both partners face the problem together rather than facing each other.
Fight the problem, not each other
Describe your situation in your own words to search the complete practice library.