Choose the gentler route when facing them is too much
Know when to stop confronting the imagined person and explore the memories with a listener instead.
Warum es wirkt
Facing an imagined person who caused serious harm brings high emotional intensity, and not everyone can tolerate it at a given moment. Sandra Paivio's research compared the empty-chair version of the work with a gentler version in which the memories are explored with an empathic therapist and no one is confronted in the chair. Both helped. The chair version produced higher rates of clinically significant change, but more people dropped out of it, which suggests the chair is a strong route that not everyone can stay with, and not the only one.
So gehst du vor
- Before you begin, ask: is this someone who frightened or seriously harmed me? If so, do not do this alone.
- During the dialogue, watch for the signs to stop: feeling flooded, losing track of time or place, or images that will not settle.
- If they appear, stop the dialogue rather than pushing through it.
- Bring it to a trained therapist and ask about exploring the memories with them directly, without the chair.
Evidenz
Paivio and colleagues (2010) randomly assigned adults with painful histories of mistreatment in childhood to emotion-focused therapy using imaginal confrontation in the empty chair (20 clients) or empathic exploration of the memories without the chair (25 clients). Both versions produced significant improvements with gains maintained at follow-up and no statistically significant difference between them on the outcome measures. The chair version had higher rates of clinically significant change, but attrition was also higher with the chair (20%) than without it (7%). (rct)
This trial was a course of therapy with trained therapists; neither version is meant as a self-guided exercise for someone who was seriously harmed.
Quellen
- Paivio, S. C., Jarry, J. L., Chagigiorgis, H., Hall, I., & Ralston, M. (2010). Efficacy of two versions of emotion-focused therapy for resolving child abuse trauma. Psychotherapy Research, 20(3), 353-366.
- Ottingerová, L., Halamová, J., & Szitás, D. (2026). Experiential therapies including Chairwork: A systematic review of randomized controlled trials. Frontiers in Psychology, 16, 1692630.
Häufiger Fehler
Pushing through because the confrontation feels like the "real" work. In Paivio's trial the gentler route did not differ significantly on the outcome measures and more people stayed with it, even though the chair version produced more clinically significant change among those who stayed; stopping is part of the method, not a failure of it.
Übe das mit IX Coach
Weitere Übungen für The Empty Chair Technique: Finishing What Was Never Said
- Pause and come back to the room before going on
Stop the chair dialogue, open your eyes, and let your feet, breath and surroundings tell you that you are here, now.
- Stop doing this alone and reach a person
If the chair work leaves you flooded, unsafe, or with thoughts of not being here, reach a real person now.
- Notice the unfinished business
Recognise the relationship that still pulls at you, and name the feeling that never got resolved.
- Put the person in the empty chair and speak to them
Imagine the person in a chair facing you and talk to them directly, in the present tense.
- Say what was never said, anger and hurt separately
Let the old complaint become specific, and give the anger and the sadness each their own voice.
- Name the need they never met
Tell the person in the chair what you needed from them and did not get.
- Switch chairs and answer as them
Sit in their chair, become them for a few minutes, and answer what you just said.
- Let go: by understanding, forgiving or holding them accountable
End the dialogue by releasing the unmet expectation, whether that comes with forgiveness or not.
- Say what was left unsaid to someone who has died
When grief is stuck on something unsaid, use the chair to finally say it to the person who died.
Verwandte Konzepte
- Schattenarbeit
Den Teilen von dir begegnen, die du bisher ignoriert hast
- Gestalt Therapy: Awareness, Ownership and Contact in the Here and Now
Noticing what you are doing right now, owning it in your own words, and finishing what keeps pulling at you
- Two-Chair Dialogue: Working With the Inner Critic and Other Inner Splits
Giving the critic and the criticized self each a chair, so the fight inside you becomes a conversation that can change
- Continuing Bonds in der Trauer, praktisch umgesetzt
Eine fortdauernde innere Beziehung zum Verstorbenen als gesunder Teil der Trauer