Rewrite the worry as what you are committed to preventing
Turn each worry into a commitment — "I am committed to not…" — so you can see what your behavior is protecting.
Pourquoi ça marche
Kegan and Lahey’s final diagnostic question is: by engaging in the undermining behavior, what worrisome outcome are you committed to preventing? Rewriting a passive fear as an active commitment changes what the second-column behaviors mean. They stop looking like failures of will and start looking like sensible actions in service of a second goal. The authors call these competing commitments a natural form of self-protection rather than a weakness, which is what makes them possible to look at honestly.
Comment faire
- Take each worry and rewrite it: "I am committed to not…" — for example, "I am committed to not being seen as someone who can’t handle it."
- Read your goal, your behaviors and these commitments side by side.
- Check the fit: do the behaviors now make complete sense as ways of keeping this commitment? If not, go back to the worry box.
- Notice that the goal and the protective commitment are both real. You are not trying to get rid of either yet.
Données probantes
The question and the description of competing commitments as "a perfectly natural and reasonable human impulse" toward self-protection come from Kegan and Lahey’s 2001 HBR article. Reams (2009) reports that when his group made this reframe, their listed behaviors suddenly made sense to them as protection rather than failure. This is the authors’ clinical-consulting observation, not a measured effect. (mechanistic)
The fit check is judged by the person; there is no external test that the commitment found is the "right" one.
Sources
- Kegan, R., & Lahey, L. L. (2001). The Real Reason People Won’t Change. Harvard Business Review, 79(10), 84–92.
- Reams, J. (2009). Immunity to Change: A Report from the Field. Integral Review, 5(1).
Erreur fréquente
Writing a flattering commitment ("I am committed to high standards"). The ones that unlock the map are usually ones you are not proud of, such as being committed to not being disliked.
Pratiquez cela avec IX Coach
Plus de pratiques pour The Immunity to Change Process, Step by Step
- Turn a complaint into the commitment underneath it
Use what you keep complaining about to find what you actually care about changing.
- Choose your "one big thing" with input from others
Pick a single improvement goal that matters to you, involves you, and that people who know you agree would make a real difference.
- List what you do instead, without trying to fix it
Write down, specifically and honestly, what you do and do not do that works against your goal — and resist resolving to stop.
- Fill the worry box: imagine doing the opposite
Picture yourself doing the opposite of what you listed and write down the discomfort, worry or fear that comes up.
- Watch your big assumption at work before you test it
For a week or two, only notice when the assumption steers you and look for evidence that it is not always true.
- Write the biography of your big assumption
Trace when and how the assumption first took hold, and ask whether it still fits the person you are now.
- Read what your test actually showed
After a test of your big assumption, separate what happened from what you made of it, then decide what it tells you and what to test next.
- Map a team’s collective immunity to change
When a group sincerely wants a change and still does not make it, map the shared commitment and assumption holding it in place.
Concepts associés
- La théorie sujet-objet de Kegan, en pratique
Passer d'être mené par ses présupposés à pouvoir les examiner
- L'auto-autorité : passer de l'esprit socialisé à l'esprit auto-autorisé
Les stades de Kegan, les mouvements sujet-objet, et l'écriture de sa propre vie
- Le leadership adaptatif, rendu pratique
Distinguer les défis adaptatifs des problèmes techniques — et diriger en conséquence
- Terri O’Fallon’s STAGES Model, Made Practical
Twelve stages built from three repeating questions, and how to work with the one you are in