Step out and watch yourself in the mirror

Watch your own behaviour played back from the outside, so you can see what others see.

Pourquoi ça marche

In the mirror technique the protagonist steps out of the scene and watches an auxiliary replay their words, gestures and posture. As the literature summarised by Cruz and colleagues puts it, the aim is to turn the protagonist into a spectator of themselves, and it is used when the image a person gives to others differs from the image they hold of themselves. The same review notes a "technological mirror" using photos, video or audio recordings, and warns that the mirror can be uncomfortable and provocative, so a trained auxiliary is recommended to avoid the person feeling ridiculed.

Comment faire

1. Pick a conversation you want to handle better, such as asking for something at work.
2. Record yourself on your phone saying it as you normally would, for a minute or two.
3. Wait a little, then watch or listen as if it were someone else. Note tone, pace, posture and what is left out.
4. Say, in one sentence, what you would tell that person if they were a friend. Record a second version and compare.

Données probantes

The mirror is one of the core psychodrama techniques in Cruz et al.'s consolidation, found in about half of the reviewed texts with broad agreement on its definition. A 2025 review of psychodrama studies from 2018 to 2022 found it among the three techniques most used. No study isolates the mirror's effect. (clinical)

The version where another person plays you back belongs in a directed group: the literature recommends a trained auxiliary because being imitated can feel humiliating. The recording version is a self-guided adaptation of the technological mirror and has not been studied on its own.

Sources

• Cruz, A., Sales, C. M. D., Alves, P., & Moita, G. (2018). The core techniques of Morenian psychodrama: A systematic review of literature. Frontiers in Psychology, 9, 1263.
• Maya, J., Pérez-Berbel, M., Giraldo-Arroyave, L., & Hurtado, I. (2025). Psychodrama: Implementation, study design and effectiveness: A systematic review. BMC Complementary Medicine and Therapies, 25, 232.

Erreur fréquente

Watching the recording only to attack yourself. The mirror is for seeing, as a spectator would, not for building a list of faults; if watching brings up shame that will not settle, stop.