Reach a person if the shame is more than a reading can carry
If the shame about where you stand starts to feel like not wanting to be here, reach a trusted person and a clinician now.
Perché funziona
Shame about being behind can grow into a sense that there is no point in continuing, and that feeling is a reason to bring in another person rather than rank yourself alone. A clinician can look at the shame, the reading and your life together, which a page of theory cannot. Saying the feeling out loud to someone often helps it loosen its grip.
Come farlo
- Stop reading the stage material for now. Nothing in a theory needs to be settled tonight.
- Tell one person you trust that reading this left you feeling hopelessly behind and ashamed, in your own words.
- See a therapist or clinician soon, and tell them about the shame and how long it has lasted.
- If you have thoughts of ending your life or harming yourself, or a part of you says you would be better off not here, call or text 988 in the US (the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), or find a line in your country at findahelpline.com.
- If you are in immediate danger, call your local emergency number.
- Keep the reading closed until you have talked with a person about how it landed.
Prove scientifiche
988 and the Find A Helpline directory are established crisis and support services. They are not studies of developmental stage theory, and they are included here so a person in distress knows where to turn. (clinical)
Crisis lines are support services rather than tested interventions for this exercise, and their hours and availability vary by country. If one line is busy, try another listed line, or call your local emergency number.
Fonti
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (United States): call or text 988.
- Find A Helpline: international directory of crisis and support lines.
Errore comune
Taking the shame as proof of where you stand. A feeling of being behind is not a measurement, and it is worth saying so to a person.
Metti in pratica questo con IX Coach
Altre pratiche per The Critiques of Adult Development Stage Theories, Fairly Stated
- Close the reading and come back to the room
Put the stage reading down, feel your feet and breath, and let the shame loosen before you decide anything about where you stand.
- Check who validated a stage model before you repeat its claims
When a stage model is described as scientifically proven, find out who ran the validation, whether the report is public, and whether anyone outside its developers has checked it.
- Prefer a scored assessment to reading yourself into a stage
Do not pick the stage description that sounds most like you; if you want a level, use a scored instrument, and treat your own sense of your stage as a guess to test.
- Do not place someone at a stage from one conversation or one moment
Before you judge where a colleague, partner or child sits in a stage model, collect more than one sample and keep what you observed separate from the label you are tempted to attach.
- Check whether the people in a stage study resemble the people you are describing
Before you apply a stage description to people in another culture, class or community, find out who the original samples were and what they had in common.
- Read a gender gap against the schooling and jobs of the people measured
When a study reports that men or women score higher on a developmental measure, check whether education and occupation explain the gap before you conclude anything about sex.
- Ask whether a moral scoring scheme counts care and emotion as reasons
When a framework ranks how mature a person’s moral reasons are, check whether reasons grounded in relationships, feeling and loyalty were scored at all.
- Hold a critique next to the support the reviewers still found
When you read a critique of a stage theory, also write down what the reviewers concluded the evidence still supports, and keep both halves of the verdict in view.
- Check whether a stage claim’s evidence came from children or from adults
Before you apply a stage claim to adult life, find out how old the people were in the studies that produced it, and whether those studies tested adults at all.
Concetti correlati
- Terri O’Fallon’s STAGES Model, Made Practical
Twelve stages built from three repeating questions, and how to work with the one you are in
- Ego Development Theory: What It Is and How It Is Measured
The frame you make meaning through, how researchers measure it, and how to work with it without ranking anyone
- Kohlberg’s Stages of Moral Development, Made Practical
Six stages of moral reasoning, how they are scored, and how to work with the reasons you give
- Carol Gilligan’s Ethics of Care, Explained
Two ways of reasoning about moral problems, what the research shows, and how to use both lenses
- The Construct-Aware and Unitive Stages of Adult Development
Seeing the self and its stories as constructions — what it looks like, how rare it is, and what it does not promise
- The Model of Hierarchical Complexity, Explained
How tasks are ranked by coordination, what the 14 orders are, and how to use the idea on a hard problem
- Torbert’s Seven Action Logics of Leadership
Seven ways leaders make sense of pressure, how common each is, and how to work with your own
- La Teoria Soggetto-Oggetto di Kegan, Resa Pratica
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