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Accept a subpersonality before you try to change it

Find the part of you that is rejecting another part, step back from both, and let the rejected one be there as it is.

Perché funziona

Vargiu argues that people reject parts of themselves because they fear acceptance will lock them in place, and that the reverse happens: a rejected subpersonality is cut off from the energy it needs, grows in a distorted, one-sided way and seeks attention indirectly through conflict. Acceptance, in his sense, is accepting the reality of the situation, not approving of it, and it is what makes change possible. The resistance is, in his words, invariably another subpersonality, so the move is to step back from the rejecting part into an observer's position, from which both can be accepted.

Come farlo

  1. Name a part of yourself you would rather not have (the one who sulks, the one who wants to quit, the needy one).
  2. Notice the voice that rejects it. Vargiu says it is invariably another subpersonality.
  3. Step away from the rejecting part and take the attitude of an unbiased, objective observer.
  4. Experience and own the feelings the rejected part brings up. Vargiu writes that full recognition and acceptance "requires experiencing and owning those feelings."
  5. Optionally, and only with a trained guide: briefly take the rejected part's point of view, what Vargiu calls "becoming" it. Vargiu introduces it in his guided-daydream case, with an experienced guide, and also says that "very effective and fruitful work can be done on one's own." The restriction to a trained guide is this page's safety line.

Prove scientifiche

Acceptance is the second of the five phases in Vargiu's chapter on subpersonalities (Synthesis, Vol. I, 1974). The chapter describes the rejecting part, the observer stance and the "becoming" technique through case material, with the "becoming" technique presented inside guided daydream work. Assagioli's manual sets the larger aim of synthesizing subpersonalities without repressing any useful trait. It is a clinical account; no controlled study of this step was found. (anecdotal)

Accepting that a part exists is not the same as acting on it; a part that wants to hurt you or someone else needs outside support, not just acceptance. Taking a rejected part's point of view can bring up feelings that flood you or will not settle; if that happens, stop and continue with a trained therapist.

Fonti

Errore comune

Mistaking acceptance for giving in. Vargiu separates the two: accepting a part is accepting its reality, not submitting to the status quo. What it demands can still be refused while what it needs is looked for. His own words for that refusal: "Well, I can't really give you this, but is there something else I can give you instead?"

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Come funziona Accept a subpersonality before you try to change it?

Vargiu argues that people reject parts of themselves because they fear acceptance will lock them in place, and that the reverse happens: a rejected subpersonality is cut off from the energy it needs, grows in a distorted, one-sided way and seeks attention indirectly through conflict. Acceptance, in his sense, is accepting the reality of the situation, not approving of it, and it is what makes change possible. The resistance is, in his words, invariably another subpersonality, so the move is to step back from the rejecting part into an observer's position, from which both can be accepted.

Qual è l'errore più comune con Accept a subpersonality before you try to change it?

Mistaking acceptance for giving in. Vargiu separates the two: accepting a part is accepting its reality, not submitting to the status quo. What it demands can still be refused while what it needs is looked for. His own words for that refusal: "Well, I can't really give you this, but is there something else I can give you instead?"

Altre pratiche per Psychosynthesis: Subpersonalities, Disidentification and the Observing "I"

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