Coaching practices for How to Speak Authentically

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For How to Speak Authentically, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• I’m so used to managing how I come across that I’m not even sure people know the real me
• Even when I’ve got the right words, my voice goes shaky and my sentences tilt up into questions, and the apology in my body
• I want to be able to say the true thing in a hard conversation without either shrinking myself to keep them comfortable or steamrolling them to protect myself
• I’ve read all the tips about eye contact and posture, but the harder I work to perform the right body language the more wooden I feel
• With the person closest to me I’ve fallen into playing a role, and the most real parts of me stay tucked away

Practices that may help

1. Cultivate authenticity
   Let go of who you think you’re supposed to be and show up as who you actually are.
   The Gifts of Imperfection, Made Practical
2. Appear confident even when you don’t feel it
   Maintain eye contact, a level voice, and an upright posture — confidence is performed before it’s felt.
   DEAR MAN: DBT’s Skill for Asking for What You Want Effectively
3. Practice congruent communication
   Say what you feel, about what you observe, while caring for both yourself and the other person.
   The Satir Model
4. Fix the inner state, not the outer mask
   Your body language broadcasts your real internal state — so change the state, not the surface.
   The Charisma Myth, Made Practical
5. Apply strengths consciously in your most important relationships
   Identify how your signature strengths are showing up — or failing to show up — in the relationships that matter most.
   VIA Character Strengths, Made Practical
6. Share the messy version, not the edited highlight reel
   The over-polished version of your story creates distance; the real version creates connection.
   The Pratfall Effect, Made Practical
7. Use voice pacing and tone as accessible, real-time confidence levers
   Speaking slowly, at moderate volume, with deliberate pauses signals confidence to listeners — and partially to yourself.
   Power Posing Revisited
8. The practice of self-assertiveness
   Honor your wants, needs, and values by expressing them in the world — appropriately and openly.
   The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, Made Practical
9. STATE your path
   Share your view honestly but in a way that keeps the other person open: facts first, then story, tentatively.
   Crucial Conversations, Made Practical
10. Build sincerity by saying only what you mean
    Only make commitments and assertions you actually believe — and retract the ones you don’t.
    The Trust Triangle

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