Coaching pour les défis que les gens apportent vraiment (page 148)

Schedule a weekly review of tracking data · Hold a weekly accountability review · The GTD Weekly Review + 7 more

Practise specific conversation micro-skills · Use graduated social exposure · Read assertiveness and responsiveness quickly + 7 more

Make process goals behaviorally specific enough to direct attention · Design process goals that are specific, observable, and within your control · Specify target behaviors precisely before designing any reward system + 7 more

Practise specific conversation micro-skills · Use graduated social exposure · Read assertiveness and responsiveness quickly + 7 more

Build precise awareness of when and how the habit occurs · Train in the three difficulties · Use thought-stopping to interrupt negative self-talk spirals + 7 more

Use graduated social exposure · Practise specific conversation micro-skills · Understand the "become it" claim accurately + 7 more

Behavioral Activation: Acting Your Way Out of Low Mood · Graded task assignment: break overwhelming tasks into very small steps · Grade activity difficulty upward gradually + 7 more

Think of discipline as a practice that compounds · Use discipline to build the right habit · Build systems that run without motivation + 7 more

Activity monitoring: track what you do and how it affects your mood · Behavioral Activation: Acting Your Way Out of Low Mood · Track mood alongside activity + 7 more

Automate the 20% before the rest of your money arrives · Hold a monthly budget date · Give every dollar a job + 7 more

Pleasant Events Scheduling, Made Practical · Behavioral Activation: Acting Your Way Out of Low Mood · Activity scheduling: plan valued activities before you feel like it + 7 more

Hold a monthly budget date · Automate the 20% before the rest of your money arrives · Lock in the future-oriented choice before the temptation arrives + 7 more

Daily 12-minute ATT practice · Use discipline to build the right habit · Build a craving deliberately to cement a new habit + 7 more

Elevation: The Emotion That Lifts You · Act in ways that might elevate others · Support the physiology of elevation through vagal tone practices + 7 more

Recover from setbacks without quitting the goal · Reframe through cognitive reappraisal · Building Resilience, Made Practical + 7 more

Get "being away" psychological distance · Deliberately take time off from grief · Seek both green and blue space + 7 more

Train flexible attention · Rapid attention shifting between sounds · Attention training technique (ATT) + 7 more

Serve in a context where your contribution is visible · Tend to yourself before tending to others · Distinguish connection requests from action requests + 7 more

Mindfulness of the current emotion · O — Observe: Notice What Is Actually Happening · Self-awareness + 7 more

Loving-kindness toward yourself · Include acts of kindness toward yourself · Self-kindness over self-judgment + 7 more

Prepare coping self-talk in advance · Soften when anger says attack · Use progressive relaxation to lower resting arousal + 7 more

Holding Space · Resist the urge to fix · Cultivate presence + 7 more

Prepare coping self-talk in advance · Graduated anger inoculation (stress inoculation exposure) · Map your anger triggers + 7 more

The last chance before a transition · Full presence with something passing · Impermanence awareness practice + 7 more

Soften when anger says attack · Prepare coping self-talk in advance · Use anger as information rather than instruction + 7 more

Create micro-mattering moments every day · Notice the ripple — secondary effects beyond the immediate act · Turning toward, not away + 7 more

Self-awareness · Mindfulness of the current emotion · O — Observe: Notice What Is Actually Happening + 7 more

Audit the cost of inaction explicitly · Reframe the inaction as a positive act · Measure results, not activity + 7 more

Prepare coping self-talk in advance · Soften when anger says attack · Graduated anger inoculation (stress inoculation exposure) + 7 more

Cultivate authenticity · Apply strengths consciously in your most important relationships · Practice calibrated self-disclosure to allow genuine connection + 7 more

R — Recall the hurt · Soften when anger says attack · Graduated anger inoculation (stress inoculation exposure) + 7 more

Translate beliefs into bets to reveal your true confidence · Put stakes on your beliefs — even hypothetically · Thinking in Bets + 7 more

Prepare coping self-talk in advance · Graduated anger inoculation (stress inoculation exposure) · Soften when anger says attack + 7 more

Build expectancy through mastery experiences, not just affirmations · Actively maintain the belief in ultimate prevailing · Separate faith in the outcome from assessment of current facts + 7 more

For anxious: down-regulate before pursuing · Regulate the anxious protest response · Notice and soften avoidant deactivation + 7 more

Update beliefs explicitly when new information arrives · Update beliefs by degrees, not wholesale · Maintain a belief-tracking log with timestamps + 7 more

For anxious: down-regulate before pursuing · Move toward a secure baseline -- in yourself first · For avoidant: stay present longer before withdrawing + 7 more

Update beliefs explicitly when new information arrives · Reviewing the Results and Extracting the Learning · Maintain a belief-tracking log with timestamps + 7 more

Notice and soften avoidant deactivation · Identify your attachment pattern · Regulate the anxious protest response + 7 more

Review past beliefs for what evidence did and didn’t move them · Update beliefs explicitly when new information arrives · USA journaling: write your way to acceptance + 7 more

Regulate the anxious protest response · For anxious: down-regulate before pursuing · The Anxious-Avoidant Trap: Why Opposites Attract and Then Struggle + 7 more

Behavioral Experiments: Testing Beliefs in the Real World · Designing the Experiment · Behavioral experiments to test core beliefs in vivo + 7 more

Review what happened after the event to refine the next cope ahead · Plan for obstacles with coping plans · Cope Ahead: DBT’s Method for Preparing for Difficult Situations + 7 more

Measure to close the feedback loop · Habit Tracking · Track only what you genuinely intend to influence + 7 more

Review what happened after the event to refine the next cope ahead · Revise the card as your beliefs update · Update your love map after major life changes + 7 more

Review the data to adjust the system · Run a one-week time log · Measure to close the feedback loop + 7 more

Review what happened after the event to refine the next cope ahead · Revise the card as your beliefs update · Track your temptation-to-confidence ratio + 7 more

Defuse from thoughts that block values-based action · Behavioral experiments to test core beliefs in vivo · Behavioral experiments + 7 more

Review what happened after the event to refine the next cope ahead · Identifying and challenging dysfunctional coping modes · Give yourself permission to feel + 7 more

Identifying and challenging interpersonal myths · Apply door-in-the-face for prosocial or charitable asks · Ask "How can I help?" instead of assuming + 7 more

Give yourself permission to feel · Access and name the underlying attachment emotion · Ask the workability question + 7 more

Identify what triggers rumination and what it promises · Using noting to interrupt rumination · Rumination-Focused CBT, Made Practical + 7 more

ACCEPTS — structured distraction from crisis · Task 2: Work through the pain of grief · Mindful awareness of suffering + 7 more

Challenge the beliefs that make insomnia self-perpetuating · Challenge catastrophic thoughts about sleep · Value deep NREM (slow-wave) sleep + 7 more

R — Recall the hurt · Give yourself permission to feel · Identify the meaning violation + 7 more

Bayesian Thinking: How to Update Beliefs Rationally · Distinguishing automatic thoughts from core beliefs · Cognitive defusion + 7 more

Mindfulness of the current emotion · Give yourself permission to feel · Riding the emotion wave with anicca awareness + 7 more

Metacognitive Therapy, Made Practical · Notice what you believe about your thoughts · Identify your meta-beliefs about worry and rumination + 7 more

Seek mentors who name their own uncertainty · Move toward a secure baseline -- in yourself first · Shame-attacking exercises + 7 more

Notice what you believe about your thoughts · Notice and challenge meta-worry: the fear of worry itself · Challenge positive meta-beliefs: does worry actually help? + 7 more

Identify your attachment pattern · Notice and soften avoidant deactivation · Regulate the anxious protest response + 7 more

Identify your stuck points · Examine stuck points across the five disrupted domains · Map the assumptive world the loss disrupted + 7 more

Graduated anger inoculation (stress inoculation exposure) · R — Recall the hurt · Prepare coping self-talk in advance + 7 more

Believe — and make the why clear · Articulate a compelling vision of why the work matters · Communicate your Why to those who already believe it + 7 more

Shame-attacking exercises · Share shame with someone safe · Name shame when it is happening + 7 more

Share shame with someone safe · Build shame resilience · Shame vs. Guilt: Why the Distinction Changes Everything + 7 more

Basic noting — rising and falling · Dantian breathing (lower abdominal focus) · Rapid diaphragmatic breathing (breath of fire) + 7 more

Share shame with someone safe · Build shame resilience · Map your personal shame triggers + 7 more

Breathe diaphragmatically for maximum resonance effect · Dantian breathing (lower abdominal focus) · Diaphragmatic nasal breathing as a daily default + 7 more

Map your personal shame triggers · Speak shame before you act from it · Treat relapse as a predictable part of the process, not a failure + 7 more

Establish inclusion safety — belonging without conditions · Align around collective results, not individual status · Performing: step back and protect the conditions + 7 more

Build tolerance for uncertainty through graduated exposure · Shift from negative to positive orientation toward uncertainty · Uncertainty Tolerance Training + 7 more

Find belonging in nature and the cosmos · Contemplate universal nature · Use belonging to ease isolation + 7 more

Build tolerance for uncertainty through graduated exposure · Shift from negative to positive orientation toward uncertainty · Uncertainty Tolerance Training + 7 more

Find your aerobic–anaerobic crossover with the talk test · Use the broken-speech threshold for hard intervals · The Talk Test: Gauge Exercise Intensity Without a Monitor + 7 more

Run uncertainty experiments · Build tolerance for uncertainty through graduated exposure · Exposure and response prevention (ERP) for OCD-like patterns + 7 more

The Ben Franklin Effect, Made Practical · Ask for a small, genuine favor from someone you want to build rapport with · The Framing Effect + 7 more

Identify and shift emotional energy drains · Focus mental energy · Focus daily energy on what is within today’s influence + 7 more

The Ben Franklin Effect, Made Practical · Ask for a small, genuine favor from someone you want to build rapport with · Keep asks sized to what the person can easily afford to give + 7 more

Name the loss the adaptive challenge requires · Regulate the level of distress in the system · Diagnose the challenge before choosing the response + 7 more

The Ben Franklin Effect, Made Practical · Invite clients or reports to contribute insight to your approach · Ask for a small, genuine favor from someone you want to build rapport with + 7 more

Evaluate solutions against costs, benefits, and fit · Edit your choice environment upstream · Pre-commit to a hard option limit + 7 more

The Ben Franklin Effect, Made Practical · Ask for a small, genuine favor from someone you want to build rapport with · Use a small ask to repair a strained relationship + 7 more

Bring feelings into the conversation deliberately · Access and name the underlying attachment emotion · Broken record: maintaining a position without escalating + 7 more

The Ben Franklin Effect, Made Practical · Ask for a small, genuine favor from someone you want to build rapport with · Invite clients or reports to contribute insight to your approach + 7 more

Use empathy to de-escalate, not to capitulate · Give yourself permission to feel · Hold limits calmly and consistently + 7 more

Centering Prayer: The Method of Thomas Keating · Contemplative Prayer: The Inner Journey · Combining lectio divina with centering prayer + 7 more

The emotional eating pause — a 10-minute delay before comfort eating · Identifying the nine hungers before eating · Eat regularly and pay attention + 7 more

Centering Prayer: The Method of Thomas Keating · Combining lectio divina with centering prayer · Making lectio divina a brief, daily practice + 7 more

Common humanity: remember you are not alone · N — Nurture with self-compassion · Task 2: Work through the pain of grief + 7 more

Benefit-Finding in Adversity, Made Practical · Benefit-Finding: Locating Meaning and Growth in Adversity · Use benefit-finding specifically for illness-related adversity + 7 more

Mindfulness of the current emotion · O — Observe: Notice What Is Actually Happening · Riding the emotion wave with anicca awareness + 7 more

Benefit-Finding: Locating Meaning and Growth in Adversity · Benefit-Finding in Adversity, Made Practical · Use benefit-finding specifically for illness-related adversity + 7 more

Shame vs. Guilt: Why the Distinction Changes Everything · Use guilt as a repair signal, not a punishment · Map your personal shame triggers + 7 more

Benefit-Finding: Locating Meaning and Growth in Adversity · Use benefit-finding specifically for illness-related adversity · Benefit-Finding in Adversity, Made Practical + 7 more

Shame vs. Guilt: Why the Distinction Changes Everything · Build shame resilience · Use guilt as a repair signal, not a punishment + 7 more

Benefit-Finding in Adversity, Made Practical · Benefit-Finding: Locating Meaning and Growth in Adversity · Positive Psychology, Made Practical + 7 more

Take a structured time-out · Map your anger triggers · Soften when anger says attack + 7 more

Benefit-Finding: Locating Meaning and Growth in Adversity · Benefit-Finding in Adversity, Made Practical · Wait until the adversity has passed its acute phase before seeking benefits + 7 more

Use empathy to de-escalate, not to capitulate · Hold Plan B conversations proactively, not reactively · Use Plan B: the three-step collaborative conversation + 7 more