Dears in Motivational Interviewing: 10 Evidence-Based Coaching Practices

Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For Dears in Motivational Interviewing, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.

Practices that may help

1. Motivational Interviewing, Made Practical
   Motivational interviewing (MI) is a collaborative conversation style that strengthens a person’s own motivation for change by drawing out their reasons rather than supplying them. Meta-analyses find small-to-moderate effects across health behaviors — modest on average, but reliably better than confrontational or advice-giving styles, which can backfire.
2. Develop discrepancy between values and behavior
   Gently hold up the gap between what the person wants and what they’re doing.
   Motivational Interviewing, Made Practical
3. Use OARS to make the person feel understood
   Open questions, Affirmations, Reflections, Summaries — the four core micro-skills.
   Motivational Interviewing, Made Practical
4. Apply door-in-the-face for prosocial or charitable asks
   The technique was originally tested in a prosocial context and works especially well when both parties share values.
   The Door-in-the-Face Technique, Made Practical
5. Reinforce by explaining the benefit to the other person
   Tell the other person what is in it for them — or what the positive outcome looks like for both of you.
   DEAR MAN: DBT’s Skill for Asking for What You Want Effectively
6. Share advice with permission (ask–offer–ask)
   Ask what they know, offer information with consent, then ask what they make of it.
   Motivational Interviewing, Made Practical
7. Evoke change talk instead of supplying it
   Ask questions that lead the person to voice their own reasons for changing.
   Motivational Interviewing, Made Practical
8. Prime identity before the ask — "what kind of person are you?"
   Invite the person to describe who they are in terms that align with the behavior you’re requesting.
   Pre-Suasion, Made Practical
9. Scale importance and confidence with the readiness ruler
   Ask “On a 0–10 scale, how ready are you?” — then ask why not lower.
   Motivational Interviewing, Made Practical
10. DEAR MAN: DBT’s Skill for Asking for What You Want Effectively
    DEAR MAN — Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, Mindful, Appear confident, Negotiate — is a DBT interpersonal effectiveness skill developed by Marsha Linehan. It structures requests and refusals so they are clear, non-aggressive, and effective, balancing getting what you need with preserving the relationship. The evidence base is embedded in the broader DBT clinical literature.

Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?

• They tell me what kind of parent or partner they want to be, and it’s miles from how they’re actually living→
• In these conversations I fire off question after question like an interrogation, and the other person closes up rather than opening→
• I have to rally people to pitch in time or money for a cause we all care about, and I’m torn between asking for too little and getting a shrug, or asking for so much it guilts them→
• When I ask for something I frame it entirely around how much I need it, and the other person hears only the cost to them→
• I actually have useful information that could help them, but the moment I offer unsolicited advice they tune me out or bristle→

Describe your situation in your own words to search the complete practice library.