How to Stop Selfish Behavior: 10 Evidence-Based Coaching Practices
Describe almost anything you are working through and IX Coach finds the practices whose real-world fit is closest. For How to Stop Selfish Behavior, these are the strongest matches in the current practice library.
Practices that may help
- Be Fair: include yourself in the fairness you extend to others
Apply the same standards of fairness to yourself that you would to someone you respect.
FAST: DBT’s Skill for Maintaining Self-Respect in Relationships - Accommodation: inhibiting destructive responses to partner provocation
When your partner does something hurtful or irritating, practice responding constructively rather than in kind.
The Investment Model of Commitment: Why People Stay (and Why They Leave) - Catch the attribution error
Notice when you’re explaining someone’s behavior by their character instead of their situation.
Generous Interpretation - Include acts of kindness toward yourself
The kindness architecture that builds well-being includes self-directed kindness — not just other-directed.
Acts of Kindness, Made Practical - Stick to Values: act consistently with what actually matters to you
Before compromising a position, check whether the compromise conflicts with a core value — and hold if it does.
FAST: DBT’s Skill for Maintaining Self-Respect in Relationships - Be otherish, not selfless
Help others in ways that also serve your own goals and interests.
Give and Take: The Giver Advantage - Use self-respect as the outcome measure — not just whether you got what you wanted
After any difficult interaction, ask: "Do I respect myself for how I showed up?" — not just "did I win?"
FAST: DBT’s Skill for Maintaining Self-Respect in Relationships - Extend the same generosity inward
The charitable read is for your own behavior too — and refusing it for yourself fuels harshness toward others.
Generous Interpretation - FAST: DBT’s Skill for Maintaining Self-Respect in Relationships
FAST — Fair, Apologies (no unnecessary ones), Stick to values, Truthful — is a DBT interpersonal effectiveness skill developed by Marsha Linehan for maintaining self-respect in relationships. While DEAR MAN aims for getting what you need and GIVE aims for relationship health, FAST targets the internal cost: whether you feel like yourself and respect yourself after the interaction. - FAST: maintaining self-respect in difficult interactions
Fair, no Apologies, Stick to values, Truthful — the self-respect compass for high-pressure conversations.
DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness: Getting What You Need Without Destroying the Relationship
Does this sound like the set of challenges you might be facing?
- I bend over backwards to be fair to everyone else and then quietly leave myself out of the equation entirely
- The moment my partner snaps at me or does the annoying thing, I fire right back
- When someone lets me down I instantly decide it’s just who they are
- I’ll bend over backwards for everyone else, but the idea of being that gentle with myself feels selfish
- When the pressure builds in a conversation, I cave on something I actually believe in just to make the discomfort stop
Related concerns
- How To Stop Disrespectful Behavior
FAST — Fair, Apologies (no unnecessary ones), Stick to values, Truthful — is a DBT interpersonal effectiveness skill developed by Marsha Linehan for maintaining self-respect in relationships. While DEAR MAN aims for getting what you need and GIVE aims for relationship health, FAST targets the internal cost: whether you feel like yourself and respect yourself after the interaction.
- Dignity Therapy
FAST — Fair, Apologies (no unnecessary ones), Stick to values, Truthful — is a DBT interpersonal effectiveness skill developed by Marsha Linehan for maintaining self-respect in relationships. While DEAR MAN aims for getting what you need and GIVE aims for relationship health, FAST targets the internal cost: whether you feel like yourself and respect yourself after the interaction.
- Fair To Yourself
Apply the same standards of fairness to yourself that you would to someone you respect.
Be Fair: include yourself in the fairness you extend to others
- Fast Dbt S Skill For Maintaining Self Respect In Relationships After A Loss
FAST — Fair, Apologies (no unnecessary ones), Stick to values, Truthful — is a DBT interpersonal effectiveness skill developed by Marsha Linehan for maintaining self-respect in relationships. While DEAR MAN aims for getting what you need and GIVE aims for relationship health, FAST targets the internal cost: whether you feel like yourself and respect yourself after the interaction.
- Fast Dbt S Skill For Maintaining Self Respect In Relationships As A Caregiver
FAST — Fair, Apologies (no unnecessary ones), Stick to values, Truthful — is a DBT interpersonal effectiveness skill developed by Marsha Linehan for maintaining self-respect in relationships. While DEAR MAN aims for getting what you need and GIVE aims for relationship health, FAST targets the internal cost: whether you feel like yourself and respect yourself after the interaction.
- Fast Dbt S Skill For Maintaining Self Respect In Relationships At Work
FAST — Fair, Apologies (no unnecessary ones), Stick to values, Truthful — is a DBT interpersonal effectiveness skill developed by Marsha Linehan for maintaining self-respect in relationships. While DEAR MAN aims for getting what you need and GIVE aims for relationship health, FAST targets the internal cost: whether you feel like yourself and respect yourself after the interaction.
Describe your situation in your own words to search the complete practice library.