Coaching pour les défis que les gens apportent vraiment (page 399)

Assert your request or refusal directly and specifically · Make your own bids more legible · Challenge directly + 7 more

Examine your worldview for death-anxiety imports · Hold beliefs as estimates, not identity commitments · Testing a core belief with historical evidence + 7 more

Apply the outcome equivalence test · Treat your decision as more final than it is · Pre-commit to agentic responses with if-then plans + 7 more

Give something genuine before you ask for something hard · Give feedback in the moment, not stockpiled for reviews · Make feedback flow in both directions + 7 more

Cultivate an "acorn brain": plant what you will not harvest · Develop interest, don’t just wait to find it · Run experiments in rapid iteration sprints + 7 more

Choose maximize or satisfice per decision · Classify decisions by reversibility and stakes · Recognize which decisions to defer or delegate + 7 more

Transfer authority with the responsibility · Clarify what people can decide without asking · Separate the doer (R) from the owner (A) + 7 more

Slow reading of a wisdom text · Lectio: reading slowly and receptively · Read one section at a time with full attention + 7 more

Match your intervention type to the COM-B gap · Resist the pull to optimize parameters when structure is the problem · Act on exactly one change before cycling again + 7 more

Prosoche — the practice of attention · Mindfulness and Wise Mind · Self-regulation + 7 more

Slow down belief updates triggered by alarming news · Rumble with the story you’re telling yourself · Delay a decision until the initial emotional spike passes + 7 more

End every review with a single resolved next action · Write three lines each evening as a low-barrier reflection habit · Stoic journaling + 7 more

Get morning light before your first meal · Get bright light early in the day · Get bright light early + 7 more

Slow down for high-stakes, irreversible decisions · Classify decisions by reversibility and stakes · Name which horizon is currently driving you + 7 more

Avoid level-jumping: build through each stage rather than skipping · Navigate season transitions — the gap is normal and necessary · Identify your current season honestly + 7 more

Apply it to boundaries (let them, then hold yours) · Follow through with consequences · Tolerate the guilt and pushback + 7 more

Periodic life-crafting refresh · Review goal-self fit at regular intervals · Review and update anti-goals annually as values evolve + 7 more

Shame-attacking exercises · Run the "did it matter?" check 24 hours later · Identifying and challenging interpersonal myths + 7 more

Respond to identity threats without self-concept collapse · Treat a lapse as data, not failure · Separate your identity from the investment + 7 more

Track your information exposure and adjust for its biases · Recognize when a concern is being socially amplified · Slow down belief updates triggered by alarming news + 7 more

Welcome experience rather than manage it · Acceptance (willingness) · Expand into difficult feelings rather than contracting away + 7 more

Close the GROW loop with session review · Schedule commitment renewal to prevent drift · Secure Will — convert the best option into a specific commitment + 7 more

Schedule commitment renewal to prevent drift · Close the loop: check values-alignment after acting · Use recurring landmarks as checkpoints + 7 more

Run a weekly decision review session · Keep a written PDSA log so the cycle has memory · Log the decision before the outcome + 7 more

I-Statements: How to Express Yourself Without Triggering Defensiveness · Follow I-statements with a clear request · Lead with how you feel, not what they did + 7 more

Assess your baseline breathing pattern · Breathe light to breathe right (nasal at rest) · Diaphragmatic nasal breathing as a daily default + 7 more

The practice of self-assertiveness · Agreeableness and the cost of suppressing or over-expressing it · Correct placating by surfacing your real position + 7 more

Use descriptive praise instead of generic approval · Deliver active recognition of ordinary positive moments · Encourage specific contributions and efforts + 7 more

Set hard app limits using built-in screen-time tools · Remove the option entirely · Set explicit values-based rules for each technology you keep + 7 more

Track the behavior you want to change · Measure to close the feedback loop · Periodically compare self-ratings with objective data + 7 more

Distinguish between content consumption and genuine connection · Distinguish passive from active social media use · One warm connection a day + 7 more

Name the actual impact on you or the team · Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain · Add a forward-looking request to SBI + 7 more

Add a forward-looking request to SBI · Follow I-statements with a clear request · Offer concrete repair + 7 more

Making clear requests, not demands · Assert your request or refusal directly and specifically · Follow I-statements with a clear request + 7 more

Ask “and then what?” three times · Pre-set your exit criteria · Adopt satisficing instead of maximizing + 7 more

Body center awareness — gut, heart, or head · Classify decisions by reversibility and stakes · Bias toward action over deliberation + 7 more

Disagree with your manager constructively · Disagree and commit on two-way doors · Judge decisions by the process, not the result + 7 more

H — Hold on when the hurt comes back · Memory cleaning (releasing the past) · C — Commit publicly to the forgiveness you felt + 7 more

Think and communicate in explicit probabilities · Make your beliefs precise enough to be wrong · Pre-commit to resolution criteria before making a prediction + 7 more

Reframe the performance as process information, not a verdict · Review actions through the reserve clause lens · Use the performance-feedback loop without Self 1 + 7 more

Place feedback on the 2x2 · Adapt how you deliver feedback to the person’s style · Challenge directly + 7 more

Iterate — treat the stages as a loop, not a line · Test — let users break it · Evaluate the outcome and adjust + 7 more

Use your mental representation to plan the performance before executing it · Structure multi-step choices to prevent dropping out mid-process · Run a mental simulation before committing to a course of action + 7 more

Eat legumes at least once daily for prebiotic fiber · Shift toward a whole-food eating pattern · Apply slight edge logic to the one body behavior that compounds most + 7 more

Red-team your plan with a formal adversarial review · Understand why the sandwich fails before replacing it · Black hat: identify risks and why something could fail + 7 more

The Wim Hof breathing technique · Hyperventilation induction exercise · Cyclic hyperventilation (with strong caution) + 7 more

Carry forward the person’s legacy in your own life · Articulate the person’s life imprint on you · Reflect on the legacy you are building + 7 more

Make small, consistent choices · Choose the smallest workable next step · Shrink the step below the fear threshold + 7 more

Use discipline to build the right habit · Think of discipline as a practice that compounds · Build systems that run without motivation + 7 more

Understanding trait change — what shifts and what does not · The time-boxed trial · Make small, consistent choices + 7 more

Review past beliefs for what evidence did and didn’t move them · Maintain a belief-tracking log with timestamps · State your prior probability before seeing the evidence + 7 more

State your prior probability before seeing the evidence · Maintain a belief-tracking log with timestamps · Evaluate evidence by its likelihood ratio, not by how it makes you feel + 7 more

Write a brief final accounting · Write a letter from your future self to your present self · Use the deathbed perspective to clarify what matters + 7 more

Request the conversation the right way · Turn cold calls into warm calls · Prepare questions you genuinely don’t know the answer to + 7 more

The 5-day FMD cycle: structure and caloric targets · Know the contraindications before attempting FMD · Strategic refeeding after the FMD cycle + 7 more

Express specific gratitude for acts of moral virtue you witness · Remember what you can’t see · Seek moral beauty as a source of awe + 7 more

Treat time as your only real wealth · Convert time decisions to a common currency · Actively choose time over money at decision points + 7 more

Check whether a third option is changing your view of the original two · Redesign option order to exploit position bias · Spot the frame being used on you + 7 more

The premortem (imagine the project already failed) · Run a pre-mortem before committing to a plan · Steelman objections to your own plans + 7 more

Correcting hedonic forecasting errors · Name the adaptation before you upgrade · Slow down on one-way doors + 7 more

Check the actual base rate before trusting your intuitive estimate · Check whether your judgment is tracking affect, not the target attribute · Know when intuition is unreliable + 7 more

Find the actual incidence rate before acting on fear · Fear-setting — define the downside before deciding · Practice willingness to carry discomfort + 7 more

Treat exercise as medicine with a specific dose prescription · Right-size the bout to beat all-or-nothing · Specific — name the exact behavior or result + 7 more

Accept first, then act on what can change · Distinguishing acceptance from resignation · Radical acceptance + 7 more

Commit to only a few goals per cycle · Limit how many you run at once · Change one thing, not everything + 7 more

Separate the data from the narrative you’ve built around it · Master your stories · Identify the triggering situation + 7 more

Know the contraindications before attempting FMD · The 5-day FMD cycle: structure and caloric targets · Know when not to fast + 7 more

Eliminate liquid sugar as a first step · Dose caffeine by need, not by habit · Replace refined carbohydrates with whole-food sources + 7 more

The seventh-generation test for decisions · Always ask what happens next after the obvious effect · Check the consequence across time horizons + 7 more

Advise yourself as you would a friend · Use the 10-year view to check values alignment · Give yourself advice as if advising a close friend + 7 more

Resolving a decision with two competing values · Use the 10-year view to check values alignment · Rank your top values + 7 more

Prefer real conversation over low-bandwidth digital connection · Batch low-value digital communication · One warm connection a day + 7 more

Excavate your actual values from your history · Values clarification through lived evidence · The values–behavior gap check + 7 more

Create micro-moments of connection · Protect conversations from phone intrusion · Batch low-value digital communication + 7 more

Map your three circles honestly · Allow multiple active interests without forcing a hierarchy · Follow genuine interest, not strategic interest + 7 more

Expand your emotional range by studying the outer rings · Expand your feelings vocabulary · Get specific, not just "bad" + 7 more

Close the loop: check values-alignment after acting · Schedule commitment renewal to prevent drift · Connect daily tasks to their meaning + 7 more

Project to age 80 and look back · Use mortality salience to clarify what actually matters · Fear-setting — define the downside before deciding + 7 more

The assumption audit · Slow the reflexive loop · Use the journal to externalize decisions you are stuck on + 7 more

Apply several models to the same problem at once · Hold multiple maps simultaneously · Parallel thinking drill: all hats in sequence for a real decision + 7 more

Use mortality salience to clarify what actually matters · Project to age 80 and look back · Use the deathbed perspective to clarify what matters + 7 more

The REM nap (60–90 minutes) · Sleep on it · Sleep on important decisions + 7 more

Distinguish vividness from frequency · Calibrate dread against statistical frequency · Compare the feared risk to risks you already accept + 7 more

Separate your identity from the investment · Test your story for coherence and credibility · Respond to identity threats without self-concept collapse + 7 more

Apply the new investor test · Ask: “Would I choose this today if I were starting fresh?” · Generate the counterfactual outcome + 7 more

Maintain a clear, stable reference point for what good performance looks like · Track leading behaviors, not lagging outcomes · Track the action, not the outcome + 7 more

Use expert endorsement for high-stakes decisions · Increase personal relevance to shift the audience to the central route · Use peripheral cues when elaboration is low + 7 more

Set a deliberate anchor before the target number · Make the first offer (when you’re informed) · Set your target before you open — never anchor to their first offer + 7 more

Use reciprocal concessions in negotiation · Make the step-down visibly deliberate · Negotiate: know your minimum and be willing to give and take + 7 more

Test your actions against the common good · Advise yourself as you would a friend · Track character, not just outcomes + 7 more

Watch for the accidental diminisher patterns in yourself · Break the advice-dependency loop · Give the work back without abandoning people + 7 more

Neutralize burner guilt by naming the trade-off explicitly · Treat your decision as more final than it is · Separate the sunk cost from the next decision + 7 more

Review every envelope at the end of the period before refilling · Hold a monthly budget date · Roll with the punches + 7 more

Linear progression: add weight every session · Mastery through progressive overload · Estimate and track 1RM to make overload decisions objectively + 7 more

Use broad index funds as the default DCA vehicle · Automate the investment so the decision is never repeated · Hold a total market index fund as your core position + 7 more

Work through a decisional balance in the contemplation stage · Reframe “doing nothing” as an active choice with consequences · Use the journal to externalize decisions you are stuck on + 7 more

Practice flexible optimism, not blind optimism · Calibrate optimism to the stakes · Practice realistic optimism + 7 more

Move toward a secure baseline -- in yourself first · Choose and co-create secure relationships · Build secure-functioning habits + 7 more

Map the ZOPA before negotiating · Map the likely ZOPA before the first session · Negotiate: know your minimum and be willing to give and take + 7 more

Parallel thinking drill: all hats in sequence for a real decision · Use the journal to externalize decisions you are stuck on · Classify decisions by reversibility and stakes + 7 more